Time To Move on
by Babyjamo
Summary: Story of Jen Gilmore and Tilly Evans two years on from the end of their story on Hollyoaks. This is my second attempt of writing, so I'm still learning, but I hope you like reading my take on possibly lives away from Hollyoaks.
1. Chapter 1

**Hope you like my little story of Jen and Tilly two years after their last scene together. **

"I'm sorry... Me too"

Jen mumbled the words in her sleep.  
"Hey. Are you Ok?" Jen opened her eyes as she heard the redhead next to her speak. "You, ummm were talking in your sleep." Jen felt a hand reach up and touch her naked shoulder.

Jen blushed with embarrassment as it wasn't the first time this had happened. "Umm yeah. I'm fine. Sorry... Did I wake you?"  
"No, it's fine I was awake and just trying to work out if I was sober enough to make it to the kitchen for water". Jen laughed as she relived the events from the night before.

Jen had gone out drinking with her flatmate James, who was a complete tart and had hooked up with some guy within 10 minutes of them walking into a bar. Jen had danced with them for a bit, but had mainly stood at the bar drinking, watching the young woman on the dance floor who had smiled at Jen. Jen figured she was maybe 23/24 and had amazing boobs. She also just happened to have red hair.

Jen took her moment when she found herself standing next to her at the bar.  
"Hi. I'm Jen. Can I buy you a drink?" Not particularly original, but Jen wasn't great at chat up lines. Luckily for Jen, the redhead smiled and responded "sure. I'll have a vodka a coke please. Oh and I'm Kate by the way". Jen smiled back and was about to put the order in to the barman, when Kate had leant in and whispered "although, what I'd really like is to take you back to mine and fuck you".

Jen felt a surge between her legs as The words came out of Kate's mouth. As she felt the woman's breath on her neck. Jen was a bit taken aback by Kates forwardness, but it was after all what she wanted too. What she had come looking for.  
Jen looked the woman in the face as she playfully bit her lower lip in a seductive way. Without answering, Jen grabbed the woman's hand and pulled her towards the exit.

They had jumped in a cab and had spent the whole journey kissing each others faces off, much to the enjoyment of the taxi driver! Once they had got back to Kate's flat there had been a moment of awkwardness when they had burst through the front door of the flat, still kissing each other and then realised that Kate's flatmate was still up watching tv. A brief introduction was exchanged and it was at the point that Kate had realised she had forgotten the name of the girl standing next to her! Jen spotted this and quickly introduced herself to the flatmate, before following Kate out of the living room and into the kitchen when they both burst into laughter. "Hmmm now THAT wasn't embarrassing!" Kate joked "wanna glass of wine?" She asked Jen reaching into the fridge and pulling out a bottle. Jen thought she had probably already had enough, but nodded yes. Kate grabbed two wine glasses and the bottle in one hand, and Jen's hand in the other before dragging her towards her bedroom.

They had clumsy,drunken sex. Neither of them knowing what each other wanted/liked, they had gone through the motions, until they had both groaned in pleasure when their sexual needs were met. Eventually they had fallen asleep for a few hours.

Jen's feeling of satisfaction hadnt lasted long, before it was replaced with a feeling of emptiness. As she lay there naked in a strange bed with Kate's arm flopped over her, a small tear ran down her cheek. It had been a long time since Jen had last felt truly happy, and whilst nights like this helped dampen her sexual desire every now and then, they didn't make her feel happy. Didnt mend her heart that was still so broken from how things had ended with Tilly. If anything they ended up highlighting how miserable and lonely she felt.

Kate spoke and broke Jen's thoughts. "Umm listen, I ummm I know we errr don't really know each other, but I just wanted to say that I... ummm well, you know, enjoyed last night and wondered if you wanted to meet up again?"  
Jen had heard it before. She would meet someone, they would go on a few dates, have OK sex, but then the other person would soon start getting frustrated that Jen was holding back. Not opening up. Wouldn't talk about her past, and soon they would walk away. Nothing had lasted longer than a couple of months. Kate seemed nice, but Jen knew that it wasn't anything to do with who she was with. She just wasn't over Tilly yet. Wasn't in a position to let someone in again, and risk it all going wrong.

Her friends had tried to convince her that she just needed to get out and meet people. That when she least expected it someone would come along and sweep her off her feet. They had even one night sat there and completed an online dating website entry for Jen. Nothing had worked, because Jen hadn't allowed it to. Jen realised Kate was waiting an answer to her question. Jen turned at looked at her. She was pretty. She had shoulder length red hair and bright blue eyes. Jen found herself comparing Kate's features to Tilly's, but stopped herself as she told herself there was no point dwelling on the past.  
Maybe Kate could be the one! Jen smiled before answering "Sure. I think it could be fun".

They fell asleep for another hour or so before Jen decided it was time to do the walk of shame home, once she had actually found out where she was! Kate lived in Clapham, South London and Jen's flat was in highbury in the other side of town. Great. She thought - a LONG walk of shame in the same clothes. Kate had offered to lend Jen a change of clothes, but Jen thanked her and said she was fine, just wanting to get home for a long shower. They exchanged numbers and arranged to the following Tuesday. Kate had suggested Jen joined her at a pub quiz she did each week with some friends of hers. Whilst Jen would have at first run a mile at the thought. of meeting friends so soon, she thought the quiz could be fun, and it might be easier than a date with just the two of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Jen stopped in a shop and bought a large bottle of water and some headache tablets as her head was pounding so loudly. As she sat on the tube she closed her eyes and assessed what she was feeling. She had been seeing a counsellor for the past year now, as she tried to work through her issues. one of the things she was supposed to do was try and write down what she was feeling. right now she was genuinely attracted to Kate and as they had briefly kissed goodbye, Jen felt excited for the first time in a long time about someone.

Her counsellor had worked hard with her to try and open up some of the barriers she found it so easy to slam shut. To try and enjoy life without thinking the worst would happen. Jen had admitted that in other aspects of her life and personality she was prepared to take risks, but when it came to her heart, she was scared shitless of it going wrong again. Jen smiled as she could just hear her therapist say, 'and what's the worst that could happen Jen?'. Jen knew the answer to that question. Because it had already happened to her. She had fallen head over heels for Tilly Evans, had risked everything and it had all gone so wrong.

Two years ago, Jen remembered that feeling of her world crumbling around her. Standing there in Diane's house surrounded by people who didnt know the truth, couldn't for one minute understand how much Tilly had really meant to her. As they stood there judging her. Sure she had messed up big time getting Tilly expelled, but as they all turned on her, even her own brother, she felt so alone.

To this day Jen still couldn't believe that Tilly had done what she had done and outed the relationship at the academy open day. Jen had genuinely loved Tilly and thought that everything was fine after they had for back together. Then the whole thing with Esther happened and Jen just panicked. She had made some wrong decisions that she wished she could go back and change and as she walked out of the house she turned and looked at Tilly one last time. Her heart ached with love for the young girl, and Jen realised she had messed up. They both had.

Jen had gone to the police station and gave a statement to the police officer. Because Tilly was over 16, thankfully she only received a caution. She obviously lost her job and any chance of a teaching career. When Jen had left the station she couldnt face seeing Diane again with her 'i told you so face' so she had texted Liam and asked him to pack her things up and drive them over to their parents.

Jen had been in tears as she begged Liam to not say anything to their parents. Jen would stay a couple of days whilst she worked out what to do with her life next. Luckily she had saved a bit of money. Money that she had intended to use for the deposit on the flat her and Tilly had planned on renting when they had moved to London after her exams.

As Jen sat crying on her old single bed at her mum and dads, her mind was racing, trying to take the last 24 hrs in. What a fuck up. How had everything gone so amazingly fucking wrong?  
Jen picked up her phone and flicked through the folder of pictures of her and Tilly. Pictures taken at the beach. Their beach. Pictures of Tilly asleep, looking perfect. Jen went to delete them, but couldn't just yet. Instead she started typing a text message to an old Uni friend of hers called James who lived in London.

'Hey mate. Got a spare sofa for an old mate?'


	3. Chapter 3

Tilly had just finished her last exam of her second year at Uni. She couldn't believe how fast the time was going. It had been unbelievable hard, but Tilly was enjoying it so much. She had always wanted to be a doctor, and after getting three A grades in her A'levels she had successfully secured her place at UCL and the start of a five year degree.

"Hallu-fucking-luah!" Her friend Sophie had screamed as they both walked out of the exam building. Tilly threw her head back in laughter and grabbed her friend around the waist and pulled her in for a hug.  
"Summer time here we come" Tilly had exclaimed. Although, for Tilly that actually meant a summer of part-time work at a hospital to earn some extra money, but at least she had a couple of months off studying.  
Sophie pulled away from their hug and looked her friend in the eyes "Now Tilly Evans. Remember what we discussed the other night? Remember your tasks for the summer?"

Tilly rolled her eyes "yes Sophie Dixon. I remember the STUPID things you made me promise the other night!"  
Her friend smiled "good. Let me hear you say them again".  
"Seriously? " Tilly complained.  
"Seriously". Came the response. Taking a big sigh, Tilly grabbed her friend by the hand and the two of them started walking towards the SU bar for the end of exam party.

"I Tilly Evans promise that during the summer holidays, whilst my amazing friend Sophie Dixon is in the South of France bronzing herself something stupid, that I will do the following:  
1) Not pick up one text book for at least a whole month.  
2) Not spend the whole holiday working at the hospital.  
3) Get rip roaring drunk on at least 5 occasions.  
4) book a ticket to visit ... what was it again?"

Sophie laughed "Number 4. book a ticket to visit my gorgeously sexy and funny friend Sophie Dixon in the South of France".  
Tilly laughed "ah yes that was it. Funny how I forgot the funny bit." She smiled over to her friend as Sophie gave Tilly's bum a playful slap before adding " you also seem to have conveniently forgotten the last one Miss Evans".

Tilly played dumb. "Have I? No I don't think I have you know." She counted on her fingers as she recapped "no books, not too much work, get drunk five times and a trip to the south of France to visit my incredibly bossy friend".

Sophie stopped walking, which in turn made Tilly stop.  
Sophie turned to look at her friend. "You forgot the most important one of all. Number 5 - To have lots of sex with a gorgeous woman".  
Tilly looked away to hide her embarrassment "oh that one!"  
"Yes Mitilda Evans. THAT one". The two friends started walking again and Sophie linked arms with her friend.  
"I don't get it Tilly. I mean you are so fucking sexy, almost sexy enough to turn me!"  
Tilly laughed before adding "you should be so lucky biatch".  
"I've known you for two years now and aside for the odd snog from one of your sistas in the LGBT society, there has been nothing!"  
Tilly hated talking about this subject at the best of time, but it seemed Sophie was on a mission this time, and couldn't be put off easily.  
"I just don't want anything to get in the way of my stud..." She was interrupted "blah, blah, blah Evans. That is bullshit and you know it."  
Her friend was on a rant now "we both know the real reason why you been a nun for the past two years. Because you're still in love with that teacher of yours. Well I'm telling you Tilly Evans. Enough is enough."

Tilly had heard it all before and really wasn't in the mood for it today.  
"Can we just drop it ok Dixon" "I've said I promise to do your stupid tasks haven't I?"  
As they turned the corner, Tilly was relieved to see the SU bar and be able to change the subject "Now come on and buy me a drink for acing that last exam".


	4. Chapter 4

They had eventually called it a night around 1am as Sophie had to get a train back to her parents the next day. They had staggered the short distance from the bar to the flat they shared with a guy called Brad. Brad was unsurprisingly from the U.S and Tilly knew that he was secretly in love with Sophie. He was on a different course and had headed back to the states last week after his last exam. The plan was for the three of them to meet up for a week at Sophie's parents gite where she was spending the summer. Tilly had made excuse after excuse about not having the money, or the time, about the need to visit her parents, but they had all fallen on deaf ears as Sophie had shown her flights on Easy Jet for £30 return. Tilly had admitted defeat and promised to book a flight.  
Tilly also knew that Sophie liked Brad, but that they were both playing it über cool. It was a times like these she was pleased she was, 'living the life of a nun' as Sophie liked to tease her. She had had her fair share of drama when it came to women and was happy to be out of it.

When the two of them were back home Tilly headed to the kitchen to make some toast and tea, this had been their little ritual over the past two years, and was how they had first met. Tilly had at the last minute had to secure accommodation at UCL, having initially thought that she would be living with Jen. When their relationship had broken up, Tilly contacted the accommodation office and was told that she wasn't guaranteed a place in halls as they were issued on a first come first serve basis. Thankfully after securing the necessary grades, she had received a letter in the post confirming her place, and that she had a room in halls in islington, not far from the college.

That was where she had first met Sophie. It was in week two of their first term and Tilly had been struggling to sleep as she was plagued with memories of Jen. One night at around 3am she had admitted defeat and got up to make a cup of tea. Just as the kettle boiled, Sophie had crashed through the kitchen door a little worse or wears after a night down the SU bar. Tilly had made her eat some toast and drink some water and the two of them had established they were both doing medicine. Sophie's background was very different to Tilly's, and she reminded Tilly a bit of Maddie. She was gorgeous, with long blond hair and a level of confidence Tilly could only dream of having. They had bonded that night and become firm friends.

Despite appearances and a love of expensive champagne Sophie worked hard and the two of them studied well together. After their first year in halls together, they had decided to get a flat together and invited Brad to rent with them having met him at the SU bar earlier in term. Sophie had suggested it to Tilly adding that it would brighten her morning up each day seeing his amazing ripped body. Tilly had pointed out that whilst that was all well and good for Sophie, what did she get out of the arrangement? Sophie had replied by claiming that living with Brad would guarantee Tilly top marks, as she pointed out that looking at Brads toned body was like looking at a text book of the anatomy. Tilly had to laugh at her friends quick wit, and so it was that the three of them had moved in together at the start of their second term.  
Sophie, parents gave her a generous allowance and so they could afford a flat near the uni that would have normally been out of their budget. Even better they had decided to stay on for another year and so Sophie and Brad had agreed to pay their share of the rent through the summer so it meant that Tilly could stay there whilst she worked at the hospital.

As they plopped drunkedly on the sofa with their tea and toast, Sophie reached for her lap top and insisted that Tilly book the flight there and then. Tilly knew she wasn't going to win that argument and so after a 10'mins or so it was all booked.

Tilly yawned and was ready to go to bed, but her friend had other ideas. "Hold it there lady!" as Tilly stood up "where do you think you are going?" Tilly started speaking before she felt her arm being pulled back down and she plopped back down on the sofa next to her friend, who to Tilly's horror was on google typing in lesbian online dating.

Tilly groaned. "Come on Evans. You promised me. We'll just look at a couple I promise". Tilly sighed and admitted defeat.  
Sophie smiled at herself knowing she won. She typed in Tilly's essential details, age, height, build, hair colour and then asked Tilly what she was looking for?  
"Nothing!" Came Tilly's answer.

Sophie rolled her eyes, "whatever Tills". Ignoring her friend she tapped in her own answers and hit search. The results came back with ten possible matches. As Sophie moved the mouse down the side bar, Tilly felt the blood drain from her face as she saw the profile picture of number 7 on the list.

The profile picture of Jen from Highbury. Jen Gilmore!


	5. Chapter 5

"Woahhhhh" Sophie said catching Tilly's attention again. "Look at that one! She's gorgeous"

Tilly was relieved to see that Sophie was clearly referring to someone else's profile and not Jen's. Ironcially, the girl in the profile Sophie had clicked into, looked just like her! Tilly had to smile at her friend, but right then her mind was racing taking in the information, her heart was beating so fast she thought it would explode. Seeing Jen's picture like that had completely thrown her. Seeing her eyes and smile and that gorgeous shinny hair that framed her face perfectly. It was all such a shock. Jen of highbury! What the Fuck! Not only did Jen appear to be living in London, she was living just a few miles from Tilly.

Luckily Sophie was so busy checking out the blonde look-a-like to notice that Tilly was having a mild panic attack right in front of her. Sensing her moment to escape, Tilly quickly jumped off the sofa before declaring "god, I think I'm gonna be sick". She ran out of the room and straight to the toilet where she locked the door behind her.

"Tils you ok?" She heard Sophie shout from the living room.  
"Yeah, yeah I'll be fine. Just need my bed. I'll see you in the morning." Tilly stood over the sink looking at her reflection in the mirror.

"Shit. Shit. Shit!" she whispered to herself. Looking in the mirror she told herself to stop being so stupid. Why wouldn't Jen be living in London? It was a big place, and after how things had finished in Hollyoaks, it wasn't like Jen had many career options there.

Tilly splashed some water on her face and brushed her teeth and then decided she needed to get to bed, before Sophie started asking more questions.

Once she was safely alone in her room, Tilly sat on her bed and tried to think things through. OK, so it was fine. So Jen was in London. Tilly told herself that she was cool with that. London was a big place, and that the chances of them EVER seeing each other were so small, despite the fact that they were living near each other. It would be fine. Tilly tried to convince herself that if she kept telling herself it would be OK, then it would. Right?

Tilly held her head in her hands and let out a big loud groan. What a mess. Tilly had spent the past two years doing her best to forget about Jen Gilmore.

Sitting there alone on her bed she opened the drawer beside her bed and pulled out a folded photo of the two of them a Crosby beach. Tilly remembered the last time she had seen Jen, at Diane's house when the police had come and arrested her. The last words they had shared were sorry. Tilly was sorry that things had ended up that way. Her head was a mess after Esther's suicide. Tilly felt so guilty for not being there for Esther. For not realising what was happening right under her eyes. For not realising how much Esther needed help. Looking back on it afterwards, Tilly realised she was wrong to put so much blame on Jen over Esther's suicide. to out all the blame on Jen not realising the state Esther had been in that night at the folly. Jen wasn't to know that Esther was planning on taking her own life. Tilly hated herself for not seeing the signs, and so it was easy to pass the blame. To blame Jen for turning Tilly into the person she had become. Someone who didn't see when a friend was in need. The truth was the bullying had been going on long before her and Jen had got back together. Tilly couldn't blame Jen for that.

Tilly knew that she had acted childish when she had threatened to tell all about their relationship, but she was in a mess and wasn't thinking straight. Despite that, she never expected Jen to do what she did and get her expelled so near her exams. Tilly had too much at stake to allow Jen to get away with that and so she had to make sure the truth came out, regardless of the consequences. It was Tilly's future or Jens teaching career. Both of them were fighting for what they had both worked so hard for. Ultimately, Tilly won. Tilly was furious with Jen for putting herself first and making up those lies, but as she left Dianes to go to the police, Tilly saw in her eyes what she was too feeling. Remorse. Remorse and regret how things had finished.

In the days immediately after their relationship had been outed, Tilly had wanted to run and hide. Wanted it all to blow over. Her friends George, Sinead and Ruby had taken the piss out of her for shagging a teacher, Sinead was outraged that she hadnt spotted anything from right under her nose. The only one who understood what had happened was Esther. The two of them quickly formed a support group for each other, and Esther had even managed to pull some strings and get Tilly back into college to sit her exams. They spent the last month or so of term being the ones people talked about when they walked past. The girl who trie to kill resolved and the lesbian who had the affair with Miss Gilmore. It was easier to handle together.

Unfortunately Esther had read Tilly's friendship as something else, and Tilly guiltily had at times encouraged it, enjoying the attention as she tried to get amen Jen. After Tilly's last exam they had been out together with some of the gang celebrating their freedom when Esther had drunkedly kissed Tilly. Being equally as drunk, once over the shock,Tilly had returned the kisses, and before they knew it they were in a full on snog. Tilly tired her best to ignore the fact that Esther's lips felt so wrong after Jens. That Esther seemed so much younger. She tried to put these thoughts to one side and just enjoy herself. As they carried on drinking, Tilly's doubts and objections faded and without stopping it she found herself back at Esther and the two of them in bed together. After they had had sex, Tilly had quickly pretended to fall asleep. As she did so, she couldn't stop the tear from rolling down her face. Esther saw the tear before she had had a chance to wipe it away, and at the moment Esther knew that Tilly would never feel the same way about her as she did about Tilly. Esther knew that Tilly was still in love with Jen, and that she had just been someone to shag. She tried to be OK about it, but deep down it hurt like hell.

Tilly had woken up and instantly regretted what had happened with Esther the night before. She was also worried about how Esther would react to the news that Tilly didn't want a relationship. That it had just been a drunken shag. A bad one at that Tilly recalled, but then after all those amazing times with Jen, Tilly wondered if anyone would ever compare. Esther was already awake and dressed when Tilly opened her eyes.

"Ouch!" Tilly groaned as she grabbed her head. "How much did I actually drink last night?"

Esther looked over at Tilly as she laid in her bed with the sheets pulled up around her tightly. She saw what Tilly was trying to do, and couldn't face the pretence, the games... the whole 'it's not you, it's me' crap. She decided to put Tilly out of her misery. "I know what you mean." She responded handing Tilly a glass of water " my head is pounding".

Esther walked away from the bed and sat down at her dressing room table and pretended to fix her hair "Listen Tils. About last night..."


	6. Chapter 6

Tilly felt really bad about what had happened with Esther, about sleeping with her when she was still obviously in love with Jen, but after all the drama and then the stress of her exams, she just wanted to loose herself for a bit. Sex with Esther had been fun. They cared enough about each other for it to mean something. It just didnt mean as much for Tilly as it apparently did for Esther.

When Tilly had woken up the next morning and the consequences of her drunken actions the night before came home, she physically felt sick. Not because she didn't fancy Esther, but that it sent out the wrong message. Tilly was an emotional mess inside. She wasn't in a position to be in a relationship with anyone right then. It wouldn't have been fair. She was worried about how Esther would take the news. It had then come as a massive relief when Esther had claimed to be OK about it. Deep, deep down Tilly knew that Esther didnt really mean it, but it was convenient and so much easy for Tilly to believe that she did.

Two years on Tilly hated the fact that her feelings hadn't really changed. She had, as Sophie pointed out, avoided starting a new relationship at all costs. Every now and then her libido had got the better of her on a night out at the student union bar, and she had engaged in a snog here and then, but it had just felt so wrong to Tilly. It was easier to focus on her studies, to put all her efforts into getting top marks, than it was admitting that she wasn't over Jen. Jen bloody Gilmore, who Tilly believed she would always love. The thought of that made Tilly so sad. Would she ever meet someone who meant as much to her as Jen had, who would be as physically attractive to her, be as inspiring, as rule breaking as Jen?

Eventually, Tilly had fallen asleep, only to be woken up a few hours later by Sophie stomping around the flat packing her things ready for her holiday. Tilly walked out into the living room to see Sophie full of beans"

"Errrrr excuse me Dixon. How the fuck are you so chirpy?"

"Because my darling Tilly" she said turning to her friend and planting a big kiss on her friends lips, "I, am heading to the South of France, for three whole months baby."

Tilly wiped her mouth with the back of her hand in protest at the uninvited kiss. "Really?" She joked "I had NO idea! I mean it's not like you've been going on about it non stop for the last month!" She teased her friend. The truth was Tilly was a little but jealous of her friend. Tilly didn't have the option of going on a three week, let alone three month holiday.

Sophie walked over and wrapped her arms around her friend " ah I know deep, deep down you will miss me Evans. And besides, you'll be joining me in a couple of months time." Tilly remembered their early morning Internet session, not so much for the booking of the flight, but more for seeing Jens face again."Yes and I can't bloody wait." Tilly had responded, changing her thoughts,

"Do you want me to come to the station with you?"

"Thanks Tils, but I've ordered a cab and it's just arrived."

Tilly watched her friend gather the last of her things and they had one final hug at which point Sophie couldn't resist saying "remember the promises Evans". Before giving Tilly a peck on the cheek and leaving the flat.

Tilly stood there for a few moments, gathering her thoughts. As she looked around the flat she realised she was home alone for the summer, and even though she had just left, Tilly already missed Sophie. Sure she was annoying sometimes, but they had fun together. Sophie stopped stilly being a complete bookworm and helped her put things into perspective.

Tilly walked over to the kitchen and flicked the kettle on to make a coffee. She plopped herself down at the kitchen table and looked at her laptop still sitting there. Reaching over she flipped open the cover and watched at the machine sprung to life. After logging on she spent a few minutes checking Facebook and Twitter, before the urge just became too great. Slowly, she moved the cursor up to the menu bar and clicked the History option. Up came the list of previous sites. Tilly clicked the mouse button on the site Lovecupid and up came the list on women, and Jens photo. She couldn't help herself. She clicked on the photo and started reading profile

**Jen - Highbury art lover  
**  
Last online December 2012

Height: 5ft 9  
Hair: Brown  
Eyes: Brown  
Body type: Average  
Relationship status: single  
Relationship sought: let's see what happens  
Has children?: No  
Wants children?: Maybe  
Start sign: Gemini  
Looking for a: Woman  
Aged between: 23-30  
Living in: United Kingdom

In order to read more Tilly had to sign up and create a profile. Tilly sat there looking at Jens photo. Wanting so much to be able to read the rest of her profile, but was it just raking over old ground? They hadn't worked out 2 years ago. Why would it work now? Tilly sat there and weighed up the consequences of her next action. She either walked away from her true feelings... Feelings that just made her forget everything in life... Feelings towards Jen that hadn't died after all this time, because they were meant to be together. Should she take the easy way out and Ignore her feelings, and hope that eventually she would meet someone who meant as much to her as Jen had?

OR, she followed her heart? She took the fact that after 2 years apart, fate had led her back to Jen. Had led them both back together.

Decisions, decisions!


	7. Chapter 7

Following her move to London Jen spent the first couple of days trying work out what she was going to do with her life. Her old Uni friend James had a two bedroom flat in North London and he had insisted they flat share, at least until Jen knew what she wanted to do.

Two years on and they were still sharing. James had studied graphic design at Uni and worked in an advertising agency. He had managed to get her some work in his department on a temporary basis and before she knew it Jen had somehow found herself working in the art department of a glossy woman's mag. It obviously wasn't as rewarding as teaching and she missed it massively, but it paid well and she had made some good friends.

Her friends were always trying to set her up with 'the perfect girl for her', and they were puzzled as to why nothing ever came out of Jens short relationships. The only person who knew the truth was James. She had told him when they were getting drunk in the flat the first night she had move in. James didnt judge her and Jen was grateful for that.  
The two of them had hit Soho and the gay bars for the first couple of months, during which time Jen had snogged all types of women as she desperately tried to forget about Tilly. Eventually it stopped being fun and the two friends agreed that they weren't as young as they used to be. Jen hadn't succeeded in forgetting about Tilly, in fact everything e she kissed someone or started a relationship she was constantly comparing it to how things had felt with Tilly. With Tilly it had been there from the first moment they had spoken. They just both seemed to instantly connect, and the sexual attraction had been obvious. The closet Jen had come to a real relationship was with a policewoman called Sam who like Jen was nursing a broken heart and so initially they were both after the same thing. This had lasted around three months, before Sam started wanting to take things to the next level, at which point Jen had to once again throw the towel in.

Jen stood in the shower and let the water run over her head, face, shoulders. It felt so good to be clean. She was surprised to find herself thinking of Kate and how their night together had made her feel. Jen decided there and then that she wasn't going to let her past ruin her future anymore, and as she dried herself with a towel she decided she wanted to see Kate again... before Tuesday. In her dressing gown she trotted into the kitchen for some much needed caffeine and saw a note from James pinned on the fridge informing her that he was away for the rest of the weekend. Jen was relieved as it meant she could slob out and watch crap tv and eat rubbish food without anyone knowing. As she waited for the kettle to boil, Jen pulled out her phone and started writing a text

_**Hi. How you feeling now? Completed the walk of shame in once piece and almost feel human again after my shower. I know we agreed to meet on Tuesday, but I'm home alone tonight and wondered if you fancied keeping me company? It's Jen by the way, in case you've forgotten my name again ;) x**_

Jen had just hit send when her phone vibrated in her hand to indicate a new email. Jen placed her phone on the table and made her coffee before sitting down to read the message.

**You have a message from an admirer on . click here to read your message. **

Jen was confused for a second, and was about to delete the message as junk, when she remembered that it must have come from the stupid profile her friends had made her set up one night after a few glasses of wine.

Taking a sip of coffee she smiled to herself as her phone pinged into life with a text message from Kate.

**_Jen? I'm sorry I really don't think I know any Jens. must be a wrong number ;) well normally I like to play it cool and make my ladies wait, but given that i think you're fucking gorgeous and haven't been able to stop thinking about you since you left, then yeah I'd love you see you. I mean, I'd hate to think of you on the other side of town all alone. K x_**

As Jen read the message she genuinely felt a few butterflies in her stomach. It had been a long time since she had experienced such a feeling, and she realised she was smiling to herself as she typed a response. It was nice to not be playing games.

_**Gorgeous? err are you sure you are thinking of the right person? did you not see the state of me this morning! don't know about you, but i'm not sure i'm up for another night out so was thinking movie, bottle of red Chinese and an early night ;) How does that sound? **_

The response was instant_. __**Sounds perfect. I'll bring the wine. What time do you want me? **_

Jen paused for a split second before responding_**Now! X**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks vey much for your kind reviews over the past week. Sorry for not saying Thanks earlier. I keep forgetting to write this bit at the top! You are all very kind. I'm glad to hear that you are enjoying my second stab at a Jelly fanfiction. What do you all think should happen next? Is it time to move on? For Jen and Tilly to leave what happened in the past, and try love with someone new? I haven't decided yet. Another chapter to follow later**.

Tilly sat there at the kitchen table and took a deep breath before she clicked the button Create Profile. This could be a massive mistake, but she was kidding herself if she really thought she could just forget Jens profile. Just pretend she hadn't seen it. Pretend she didn't know that Jen was living in London, just a few miles away right now.

In order to see the full profile, she had to answer numerous questions on her star sign, relationship type, height, fav food, fav this, fav that!

When it came to the section where she had to write something about herself, about the kind of person she was looking for, Tilly smiled to herself as she wrote: _Redhead, trainee doctor seeks artist older woman to teach me about the Gormleys. _

She picked a recent picture of her taken at Christmas and saved the profile. The picture was important. She needed to pick one that showed Jen what she was missing, but also one that showed how Tilly had changed over the last two years. Her heart was beating faster, her palms had gone a bit sweaty as she clicked on the read more button on Jens profile:

**_Right well, where to begin...moved to London from Chester a couple of years ago, and have been convinced by my friends that I'm gonna find the love of my life on this site, so feel free to prove them right_**!

Tilly paused. She noticed that Jen hadn't logged on for a number of months, and she sincerely hoped that she hadn't found the love of her life. Doubt and fear crept into her mind. this was a stupid, stupid idea, what if Jen had met someone? How would she feel then? was it better to not know? Tilly pushed her chair away from the table and let out a groan. Just because Tilly had not been able to forget about Jen, it didn't mean it was the same for Jen. Tilly looked at Jen profile picture and convinced herself that there was no way Jen would sill be single. She would have been snapped up ages ago. She walked over to the sink and filled up the kettle. More coffee was needed.

As Tilly stood there waiting for it to boil the medical student in her made her analysis all the possible scenarios.

1) Jen had totally forgotten Tilly and was happily with someone new - This thought felt like a punch in the stomach to Tilly.

2) Jen was with someone, but deep down still cared for Tilly - this made Tilly feel a bit better.

3) Jen had, like Tilly, never really gotten over the end of their relationship, never really forgotten Tilly.

Tilly closed her eyes for a moment and instantly remembered the feeling of Jens hand on her cheek, of her lips on hers. How could it still feel so strong after all this time? As Tilly poured the milk into her coffee she decided that she couldn't not act on the feeling. She had a chance here to find out once and for all, how Jen felt about her. Two years on. Away from Hollyoaks.

Walking back over to her laptop she sat down and made the decision to on reading:

_**So i'm an art nut who will probably drive you mad by always stopping to take a photo or sketch something that catches my attention. Loving London for the inspiration that is all around us. Currently working in publishing but outside work I spend time in exhibitions, dancing around my flat to cheesy music, crying at stupid films, jumping in the car and heading to the beach, laughing with my friends, discussing the meaning of life over a bottle or two of red wine, singing the wrong lyrics to songs, getting lost in London and when it all becomes too much I can usually be found watching the world go by through the window of a coffee shop. **_

Tilly paused to take in this information. So Jen was working in publishing. Tilly felt guilty that she was the reason why she could no longer teach. She felt sad at the thought of Jen having to give up her dream job and now working in publishing. Tilly wondered if she was happy. She couldn't really tell from the words Jen had used to describe her life. She carried on reading:

_**Umm what else? I love cooking and if we get on you may be lucky enough to be invited to sample my amazing, better than Nigellas, carrot cake. Now who can refuse and offer like that? Maybe people who don't like carrot cake I guess, but if that's the case, then we're probably not meant to be together in the first place. **_

**_I should warn you that I have a bit of a reckless spirit in me and it has been know to get me into trouble sometimes! if you think you can handle it, then send me a message. Oh yeah, and you should know I'm awesome at Guitar Hero._**

Tilly smiled as she pictured Jen playing Guitar Hero. She quickly reread the profile again and looked at the two other pictures Jen had put up, Tilly's throat went dry. She looked stunning Tilly thought. She couldn't wait any longer. She had to let Jen know she had found her. Had to say Hi. Had to find out more. Had to find out if Jen had indeed found love. She felt slightly sick with nerves as she clicked the Send Message button.

**(Sorry everyone, but I've clearly not been using the site right and hesitating up previous chapters wrong so I appear to have hit my limit of 50 chapters. So I'm heaving to post Chapter 8 below as a continuation. If anyone reading this can send me a message explaining how i can fix it without deleting my older story, that would be great). Anyway, enjoy the next part of the story. **

**Jen**

Jen spent the hour before Kate was expected tidying the flat. She had put some music on and was singing away to the music as she made the place look a bit more presentable. She changed her bedding and smiled at the fact she had done this. She then changed her outfit three times as she tried to get the right look. She wanted to look nice, but not to look like she had made too much effort. Jen had surprised herself by wanting to see Kate again so soon, but there had been something there. The sex had been pretty average, but drunk sex was never good in Jens opinion. It was much better when you could actually see what you were doing!

Jen settled for a pair of skinny black jeans and a striped jumper. Underneath she just happened to be wearing her best underwear. A quick squirt of perfume and a touch of makeup, actually quite a lot of make up was needed to hide the dark circles under Jens eyes, and she was ready. She was only 25 but already the hangovers felt worse than they did a few years ago when she was a Uni.

Jen went back to the living room, sat down the sofa and nervously started playing with the cushions, pumping them up to distract herself, to try and ignore the butterflies in her stomach. She was actually feeling a bit nervous about seeing Kate again. What if it had been a massive mistake. If when Jen saw her again, she realised there was nothing there. Jen thought about the extra confidence alcohol gave people sometimes, as she recalled the encounter with Kate at the bar and what Kate had whispered into Jens ear. What if it had all been the booze talking!  
Jen knew she was attracted to confident woman, and she had loved it when Tilly had taken charge, when despite their age gap and their roles in life, Tilly had taken the lead. Jen stopped her thoughts. She wasn't going to do that. Wasn't going to compare Kate to Tilly. Jen felt something about Kate that made her think that she could actually do this. Could actually meet someone and treat them for who they were. Not judge them and compare. Jen needed to see how it felt to be with someone new who wasn't just there as a Tilly substitute. If she could do that then maybe, just maybe she might at long last be over Tilly Evans.

15 minutes later and Jen heard the buzz of the door bell and went to pick up intercom. Jen smiled as she saw Kate nervously play with her hair not realising she was on camera and Jen could see her. "Hello can I help?" Jen said playfully

Kate joined "errr yeah. Hi. I'm looking for a lonely lesbian with gorgeous dark brown hair and eyes who goes by the name of...ummm, of god... Now what was it again?"

Jen laughed down the intercom and pressed the buzzer before adding "don't worry about details like names, just get yourself up here fast. Top floor flat".

Jen felt relief that their initial exchange had felt natural and some of the nerves were fading. Jen acknowledge that they were fading and being replaced with excitement. Jen took a deep breath and as she gave herself a quick once over in the mirror by the door, she told herself to not mess this one up.

She opened to door just as Kate was walking up the remaining few stairs towards the flat. She stopped on the steps as she saw Jen appear at the door before adding "I hope you have some oxygen with you! How many stairs?" Jen laughed as she walked towards Kate and put out a hand "Come on old girl, you can do it now" she teased. Kate took Jens hand and as the brunette playfully pulled her up the remaining two steps, she fell forward slightly into Jen. Jen adjusted her stance to stop them both falling over before adding "steady there, you nearly knocked me off my feet!" Kate caught Jens eyes and playfully added "hmm well maybe that was my plan!". Jen laughed and taking Kate's hand she led her into the flat closing the door behind her.

**Tilly**

It had been a couple of hours since Tilly had sent the message to Jen and those hours had been so nerve wracking. She had tried to watch some Tv, but could keep her mind focused long enough. Had Jen seen the message? If so, why hadn't she responded? What did the silence mean? Jen was over Tilly? Fuck. Tilly couldn't stand it and needed to get out of the flat. She pulled on her running gear and set off for a long run to try and clear her head. To try and get Jen Gilmore out of her head.

**Jen**

Jen and Kate had spent the first hour together sitting opposite each other drinking tea and finding all about each other. Doing the background checks they had skipped the night before. Jen found out that Kate worked in the film industry as an editor and the two of them had sat their discussing their favourite films. Jen liked the fact that Kate had a creative job. She wasn't sure if she could date someone who didn't appreciate the arts. As that thought ran through Jens mind, she realised she was thinking ahead a bit. Imagining how it might be to have Kate as her girlfriend! Slow down Gilmore she told herself. Jen talked about her work and how she had initially thought she would be a teacher, obviously skipping over the story of Tilly. As Kate left the room to use the bathroom, Jen quickly assessed how it was going and liked the fact that the talk was flowing freely. There had been no awkward moments. The two of them had been flirting and Jen found herself at one point taking in Kate's body through the dress she was wearing. Remembering what it looked like naked from the night before.

As Jen heard the flush of the toilet from the bathroom she decided that there had been enough talk for the moment. She walked out of the living room and was waiting for Kate as she came out of the bathroom. Kate initially jumped when she saw Jen standing in the hallway, not expecting her to be there, but the look on Jens face and Kate knew what Jen was thinking. "Hi" she softly said as Jen walked towards her. Jen didn't respond with words, instead she plated her lips on Kate's mouth and pushed her back against the wall as their tongues explored each others mouths.

**Tilly**

Ten minutes into her run and the heavens had opened up on Tilly and the rain had come crashing down. Tilly didn't mind the rain and she actually found it invigorating. As she pounded the streets, foot after foot, she slowly found the clarity she was looking forward. This was meant to be she thought. She was supposed to find Jen, to be able to see if there really was something still there, and if there wasn't than that was it. It would be over once and for all. Tilly would have the closure she needed. The confirmation that Jen no longer cared for her, and so therefore she wouldn't waste one single minute more thinking about her. This was it. After today Tilly would know the truth and she would no longer be able to hide behind the pretence. Tilly sped up her pace as she took a deep breath and headed for home. It would soon be time to stop living in the past. It would soon be time to move on.


	9. Chapter 9

**Really glad you are enjoying this story. Thanks for all the reviews, keep them coming as nice to hear what you think. **

**Tilly**

Tilly jumped in the shower as soon as she was back from her run enjoying the feeling of the hot water running down over her body. The run had helped clear her head and she felt so much better for it. She had arranged to meet a couple of Uni friends for dinner tonight, but she had a few hours to kill before then. Pulling on her dressing gown she walked into the kitchen and picked up her laptop. Walking back to her room, Tilly flopped on the bed and switched on the machine. As soon as it had come to life she logged onto her email in the hope of seeing a response from Jen, but there was nothing. Logging onto the site she could see that Jen hadn't even read her message! Bugger. Tilly said out loud. She didn't have a plan of action for Jen haven't not read it.

**Jen**

Jen had grabbed her hand and led her to bed they had made love, taking their time to explore each other bodies for the first time. It was, as expected much better than the drunken sex they had had the night before. Afterwards they had laid there next to bed chatting before the two of them had dozed off, exhausted from their efforts. Jen was sitting naked on the edge of the bed, and as she got up she turned to look at Kate as she lay in bed sleeping. Aside from having the same colour hair as Tilly, that's where the similarities ended. Kate had shoulder length hair, farker skin tone which complemented her hazel eyes and emphasised her amazing cheekbones. Jen found her physically attractive and they had certainly clicked.

Jen carefully stood up and pulled on her dressing gown and walked out into the living room. She was all of a sudden starving and grabbed her laptop to order some food from the take away Chinese. As she logged on she saw the unread email from again in her inbox, and without really thinking about she clicked on the link to see who her admirer was.

Jen's heart literally stopped beating for a split second when she saw Tilly's face staring at her on the laptop. Redhead Medic was her profile name, and as Jens eyes took in the picture, Tillys slightly longer hair, and different make-up Jen felt her heart literally ache. Oh god, oh god, she wasn't prepared for that. Wasn't expecting it to be Tilly. Jen sat there staring at Tilly's picture, reading the words of the profile... She smiled when she read the bit about looking for someone to teach her about the Gormleys. Fuck! Jen took a deep breath when she saw Tillys location as Islington. They were living so near each other it was crazy.

Finally Jen plucked up the courage to read the message that was sitting there waiting. Her heart was now beating so fast she thought it might explode. Closing her eyes for a second to compose herself, Jen clicked her mouse.

**Hello stranger. You look amazing! I miss you. Tell me it's not too late? Meet me. T x**

Jen reread the message over and over taking it in. She couldn't believe that after two years Tilly's face was staring back at her from her laptop and she was asking to meet. Asking to be part of Jens life again. Fuck! Jen whispered out loud. Just then she heard a noise from the bedroom. Kate! Jen had for a few moments forgotten about the woman lying naked in her bed. The woman who wasn't Tilly, and for the first time, Jen had actually liked that fact. For the first time Jen had liked Kate for who she was.

Jen quickly closed the laptop and looked up as she saw Kate standing in her door frame with the sheet wrapped around her naked body.

"Hey! Where did you go?" She asked "was I asleep long?"

Jen cleared her throat and got up out of her chair and walked to the fridge opening the door

"no not long at all, I just woke up starving and need a drink. You fancy some food?" Jen asked smiling over at Kate. All the time her mind was racing, trying to take in the email message Tilly had sent her. Her darling Tilly, who she had assumed must hate her for what Jen tried to do. How she almost ruined her career before it had even started! But here she was living so near and asking to meet.

Kate started shuffling towards Jen trying not to drop the sheet.

"Sure food would be good". She smiled as she leant in and gave Jen a kiss on her lips. Fuuuuuuuck Jen groaned internally. Why now? Two bloody years had gone past, and now, just now when Jen meets someone she thinks she could genuinely see something happening with, Tilly pops up out of nowhere. Jen returned Kate's kiss. Jen owed it to herself to give this thing with Kate a real chance. She agreed that she wouldn't let Tilly's message ruin the rest of the night with Kate as she pulled Kate into a full embrace.

**Tilly**

Tilly was herself fast asleep dreaming of the moment when she got to see Jen again. It was a dream that she had had many times before. She normally bumped into each other, but this time round it was planned. In her dream Jen had immediately responded to Tilly's message and the two of them had met that night, not able to spend another minute apart. Annoyingly just as things started to heat up, Tilly's phone buzzed with a message and woke her up. Sleepily she grabbed her phone and saw that it was a picture message from Sophie of her by the swimming pool in France. See you in two months time xxxx

Tilly smiled at the picture before checking her phone. She'd fallen asleep for over an hour and so had better get her skates onto get ready for her dinner. Before she did that, she could help but check the website to see if Jen had responded to her message. Tilly felt a wave of disappointment when she saw there was no message, and then her stomach tightened as she saw that her message had been read. Jen had seen her words. Her plea to meet. Tilly just hoped that it wasn't too late and that she hadn't met someone. That there was still hope.


	10. Chapter 10

**So I know it's weird thinking about Jen with someone new, but I guess it could happen. I mean Jen is gorgeous after all. But will the pull of Tilly be too strong to resist?**

**Let me know what you think of this chapter. **

**Tilly**

Tilly had spent the evening with her friends feeling totally miserable. She had tried not to. Tried her best to forget the disappointment of the fact that Jen had not responded to her message. She had drunk far too much red wine, and was now sat on her sofa at home feeling very sorry for herself. Without really thinking through the consequences of her actions, Tilly had poured herself another glass of wine and decided it would be a good idea to send Jen another message.

Taking a large sip of wine, Tilly started typing.

**Hi. Me again. **

**I know... Nothing for two years and then two messages in a day! Sorry. Truth is I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since I saw your profile on this website. Saw your photo. Your beautiful face. Your smile. I haven't stopped thinking about you for the past two years actually. Haven't stopped wondering what you are doing, where are you living, if you are happy? Wondering if you have met someone else? **

**Jen, I have tried so hard to move on, but at the end of the day, I don't want to. I don't want to meet someone else, as I just want you. **

**I've always just wanted you. **

**Seeing you on here and reading your profile has just made it perfectly clear to me... That we are meant to be together. It was too hard in Hollyoaks, with everyone having an opinion... With your job and everything. But we're not in Hollyoaks anymore. There is nothing stopping us now. **

**It's totally within our own destiny what happens next, and I want US to happen next more than anything in the world. **

**Please tell me you feel the same way. Tell me that you've struggled to be with anyone else over the past two years, tell me you know we are meant to be together. Tell me you want me to. Want to feel me again the way I want to feel you. Feel you in my arms. Feel your lips against mine. Feel the softness of your skin. Feel the heat you create in me. Feel the throb between my legs. Feel the release. Feel the love. **

**Tell me Jen. Tell me it's... It's not too late! **

Tilly sat back and wiped the tear that had formed in the corner of eye, taking a swig of wine she read the message back to herself, before pressing the delete button.

Tilly took a deep breath and then types a short message before staggering to bed.

**Jen **

Kate had left Jens to make the journey back to South London around 3pm. They had had a lazy Sunday morning and gone out for brunch with the papers. Jen was alarmed at how easy it felt to be around Kate. She had an easy manner about her, that had made Jen feel relaxed, even though they had only just met.

Jen had walked Kate to the tube and as they kissed each other goodbye, Jen had been happy.

"Thanks for the ...err... company" she had said with a suggestive smile.

Kate smiled and planted a small kiss on Jens lips

"it was ALL my pleasure. I'm pleased you texted me." Kate looked down at the pavement for a moment, before looking Jen in the face

"I had a good time Jen. I ... I like you". She blushed slightly.

Jen knew what Kate was saying... This was the' I like you and want more from this than just sex' chat that Jen had normally tried so hard to avoid. This time she smiled and reached for Kate's hand

"I'm really glad I sent you that text, and I... I..." Jen paused, as the words from Tilly's message popped into her head. Taking a deep breath she continued her sentence "... like you too". There she had said it. Phew! She had taken the first step to something new. The first step to who knew what... But as Jen turned and started the walk home, she like the feeling she had. The feeling for the future.

**Tilly**

Had woken up with another banging head. As she walked gingerly to the kitchen to get some water, she told herself that she had to cut down on her drinking! As a trainee doctor she knew the damage it could do... and then she remembered the second message she had sent Jen and stopped dead in tracks. SHIT! She said out loud. Oh god. What had she done. She asked Jen to meet her tonight. To tell her that was too late. Tilly leant her head against the fridge door and let out a groan. Drink made you do stupid things. Tilly needed a run.

**Jen**

Jen had walked home stopping to look in a couple of shops and ended up buying a new dress she had seen a couple of days ago. As she walked she assessed the events of the last couple of days, how a chance meeting in a club with someone who had initially caught her attention because of her red hair, had now led Jen to feeling that she maybe could be ready to start a new chapter in her life. Jen smiled at herself thinking what her counsellor would say. She would probably get the bubbly out in celebration! She was all ready to go, ready to take the plunge... And then there was the message from the past.

Jen had decided that she would sit down when she got back to the flat and respond to Tilly. Tell her that it was too late. That she had met someone else. That they had had their chance. Things had changed.

As Jen sat down at her laptop to respond to Tilly she saw the email telling she had another message. **Hen and Chickens pub. Tonight 6pm. Tell me it's too late. **

Jen looked at the at her watch it was already nearly 5. she quickly assessed her options. Her head was telling her that she shouldn't go. That it was a bad idea in SO many ways. What would it achieve? What good could come of it? Her heart on the other hand was telling her that of course she had to go. She had been missing Tilly for two years. Now in an hours time they would be together again. Jen would be seeing her face again.

Jen was so torn, she didn't know what to do. She was so scared of making the wrong decision.

Reaching into her jeans she grabbed a coin. Heads she went, tails she stayed. She flipped the coin and and lifted her hand to reveal the answer...


	11. Chapter 11

**Wow - thanks for all the reviews you've posted today. Its great hearing what you think should happen, and I loved some of the suggestions. **

**I know the character Kate is not popular with some of you, but I like the extra dimension it brings to the story. As someone else pointed out, there are lots of 'happier jelly stories already in existence, this one is still working out which way to go. I'm trying to be realistic with Jen who isn't the best at dealing with her emotions. She's Confused and scared. Will update again tomorrow night. Thanks.**

**Tilly **

Tilly was 30 mins early. She literally couldn't wait anymore. The day had dragged so much and she had been unable to focus on anything. She felt sick worrying about what Jen would say. Assuming Jen even turned up in the first place... and if she did would she still love Tilly?

On her run she had spent the time making stupid bets with herself to reassure herself it would all be OK. If the next car that came around the corner was red then Jen would show up. If the lights turn green in five seconds time then it wouldn't be too late. Tilly was a practical, science minded individual so she knew these bets were silly, but it had made her feel better.

She had gone back to the flat, showered and then spent ages picking out an outfit, doing her make-up and hair. The outfit she settled on was a dark green shirt dress which she had picked out the other week whilst on a shopping trip with Sophie. Paired with a pair of black tights and heels, Sophie had said it made Tilly look mature and sexy... just the kind of look Tilly was going for. She wanted to show Jen that she was no longer a college kid. She was nearly 20 now. she had grown up. she kept her make up minimal, with just a touch of foundation and blusher. As Tilly applied the black liner to her eye she noticed how much her hand was shaking. It was crazy that she was feeling so nervous at seeing Jen, but there was a lot at stake.

Tilly ordered a bottle of rioja and two glasses and found a seat in a quiet part of the bar. She poured herself a large glass and took a big gulp. Again she promised to cut down her drinking, she just had to get through tonight first. She got her phone out and surfed her facebook to try and keep her nerves under control.

**Jen**

Tails.

Bugger Jen thought. Best of three she said to herself and flipped again. Heads this time. Yay! third time lucky. Flip. as she lifted her hand she saw it was tails again and took a deep sigh. "For FUCKS sake" Jen shouted out loud. What WAS she doing?

She had spent the past two years of her life desperately missing Tilly, and here she was hesitating over whether to see her again or not. Why was that? Kate? Surely not. How could that be? Jen had literally just met her. it didnt make sense. Jen sat down and held her head in her hands, feeling the tears spring to her eyes. It shouldn't be a hard decision. She took several deep breaths, trying to control her breathing. Her chest felt tight with anxiety over the dilemma that she faced.

Her counsellor had made her act out this scene many times over the years, asking her what would she do if she saw Tilly in various scenarios:

How would you feel if you saw Tilly again?

How would you feel if you saw Tilly with someone else?

How would you feel if you were with someone else and you saw Tilly?

She would then remind Jen of what she had previously said to the same question to see if there was a change in her answer. Up until the last month the answers had always been the same:

Happy.

Sad.

That would never happen!

But it HAD kind of happened. Jen HAD actually met someone who she liked, and this was causing the problem, the doubt.

Her counsellor had made her address her fears about opening up to someone new, and accepting the risk of being hurt again. Jen wasn't completely there, but she had felt that something was different in her this weekend. It wasn't as though she hadn't tried to have relationships with other people over the years, she just hadn't given them a chance. Part of that was because she still had feelings for Tilly, unfinished business maybe?, But had two years been too long? Had they both changed too much to go back? The other reason was fear! Fear of it going wrong again, and losing someone else she had loved.

Jen remembered the words in Tilly's message **am I too late?** Jen honestly didn't know the answer to that question. No! Maybe? As she sat there thinking it all through she realised there was only one way to find out!

Jen literally ran into her bedroom and changed into the new dress she had just bought. Applying some lipstick and perfume, she quickly grabbed her bag, keys and phone and before she changed her mind, she was out of the flat and running down the stairs out onto the street.

Looking at her watch Jen realised she was going to be late, and hoped that Tilly wouldn't have left. She walked as fast as she could to the pub, keeping an eye for a cab, just in case one came by. As she walked the 15 minute journey to the pub, Jen had for some reason remembered how horrible it had been when she had first come to London. How lonely she had felt after everyone had found out about her relationship with Tilly. She had put on a front with all the partying, but deep down she was miserable. Two years on, she had made some good friends, had a new career and was enjoying life... Almost all aspects. But something was still missing. Was that missing jigsaw piece sitting in a pub right now waiting for her? Or was that piece from a different jigsaw of Jens life, a piece from a jigsaw of the past? Jen needed to work out if Tilly still fitted...and made her complete.


	12. Chapter 12

**OK, so here is the chapter when after two years apart, they finally meet again. It doesn't go how either plan! **

**Thanks for all your comments and thoughts. I really like reading them. Some of you have had some great suggestions... I'm tempted to steal them. Only joking! You should use them to write your own story. **

Jen walked through the doors of the pub just as it started to rain outside. she walked in and quickly scanned the tables. Shit! She thought as she looked to find Tilly, but couldn't see her... she's gone... She's not here. Panic rushed through Jen as she checked the time. She was 10 minutes late. She walked through the busy bar, nervously looking at all the faces, repeating the mantra 'please still be here, please still be here' in her head. Quickly thinking of a plan of action if she had missed he which involved her running home and bombarding Tilly with messages via that stupid dating site. But just then out the corner of her eye, she saw her.

Jen stopped on the spot, and instantly felt her chest tighten. she looked down through the bar towards the table where Tilly was sat on her own. Bottle of wine, two glasses... one glass already nearly finished Jen noticed, her head down as she looked at her phone. And then, as if she knew, as if she could sense Jens presence, Tilly looked straight up...straight up at Jen...Straight into her eyes, and Jen felt her stomach flip. Jen was frozen to the spot as she took in the view ahead of her. Tilly looked so grown up. She looked amazing in dark green and with longer hair. As Jen stood there she remembered all the times she had pictured this scene in her head. all the times she had imagined how it would feel to see Tilly again... and now it was real. she was there! Sitting right there in front of her. Why then, did she feel a sudden urge to run?

Tilly looked up and swallowed hard as she looked up and saw Jen standing in the middle the bar. Tilly's stomach dropped as she stared back at Jen who had stopped and was standing still. Tilly thought she looked more beautiful than stood up and gave a nervous little wave that she instantly regretted. Play it cool Tilly she muttered under her breath. It seemed to have the desired effect as Jen smiled back and Tilly felt her heart melt slightly. She watched as Jen walked towards her and stood up to greet her.

"Hi" Jen said Fuck. What should she do? A Hug? A Peck on the cheek? Tilly thought that would maybe be too much after how things had finished. Instead without taking her eyes off Jens she slowly reached down for Jens hand.

"Hi"

The tension between them was obvious, and Tilly felt reassured when she had felt Jens fingers slip between hers, and gave her hand a squeeze.

Jen was still trying to calm herself down. Only Tilly had this affect on her... Made her scared for herself... Scared of the strength of their connection. Jen realised they must have looked strange to anyone else as they stood there holding hands not speaking.

"You... You look amazing Tilly". Jen had managed to say

Tilly blushed slightly, and then took a step closer so there was now hardly any space between them, so she was close enough to feel Jens breath on her skin before whispering as that was all her voice could manage.."I... I didn't think you were coming"

"I'm sorry" Jen whispered back "sorry for being late." Jen took a big gulp to try and clear her throat which felt so tight. For the first time since Jen had spotted Tilly, her eyes broke away and Jen looked down at their intertwined hands before adding "truth is ..I... I nearly didn't!" Jen saw Tilly's face drop. Jen, feeling the need to do something to defuse the tension, noodled over to the wine "any chance of a glass of vino tinto? Or have you finished it all" Jen gave Tilly a cheeky smile to show she was joking and Tilly gave a small smile back before retracting her hand from Jens grasp and walking round to the their seats. She poured two large glasses and then turning to pass one to Jen, Tilly felt the start of a small tear forming in her eye, as she assessed Jens comment about nearly not coming. Fuck. Hold it together Tilly she demanded.

Jen took a large swig of her drink before putting her glass down on the table and turning to face Tilly who was clearly deep in her own thoughts. "Tilly... I... God." Jen stopped speaking and leant over and grabbed her hand "I've missed you so much". She paused and took a deep breath "I have imagined this scene in my head so many times over the past years... And ... God ...I..." Jen wasn't allowed to finish her sentence as she was interrupted by a slightly angry Tilly " you've met someone else haven't you?" Tilly looked straight into Jens brown eyes, the hurt, anger clear in her voice "Fuck Jen. Just say it". Tilly let out a long sigh and closed her eyes to try and stem the tears that were forming in her eyes.

Tillys words stung Jen... is that what she was going to say? ...she honestly didn't know herself... This was all happening way too quick for her liking. Jen couldn't figure out her emotions quickly enough. Her head was spinning and she literally didn't know what to do for the best.

Jen paused for what seemed like forever to Tilly before answering "yes. Yes I've met someone else Tilly. I've JUST met someone else ... Someone who made me.."

Tilly quickly moved her hand up to her face to wipe away the tear the was falling down her cheek, not wishing for Jen to see she was crying. Again interrupting Jen mid sentence she turned and looked at Jen, searching for an answer to her next question "Am... am I'm too late?"

Jen felt her heart physically ache with love for Tilly. Inside she was screaming. NO! No Of course you are not too late, you would never be too late! but for some reason the words weren't coming out of her mouth. Jen tried to form the words, but Tilly had heard enough and grabbed her bag off the sofa and started running out of the bar. As she did so Jen felt the fear rise in her. The words running over in her head. Oh no. No Tilly... Wait you have to wait... Let me explain.. Don't go again.. Don't leave me again! Jen grabbed her things, knocking over her glass in the process and ran out after Tilly.


	13. Chapter 13 - unlucky for some?

**Thanks so much for all your feedback and encouragement on my story. I hope you like the next chapter which originally had a totally different ending, but it didn't feel right. Thanks for the advice ForeverJelly. **

Jen pulled open the pub door and ran outside into the pouring rain, just spotting Tilly as she disappeared around a corner and out of sight.

Shit! Jen said out loud as she lent down to take off her heels and started running through the puddles, and after Tilly. As Jen turned the corner into the side street she saw how far Tilly had got ahead, and remembered that Tilly was a regular runner. Jen wasn't! She preferred Yoga and Pilates to pounding the streets in the rain, but she wasn't going to loose Tilly.

She must have looked a sight, running down the road in the pouring rain, clearing chasing after the redhead running in front of her. Jen had called out to Tilly to stop, but Tilly had either not heard, or ignore her. To Jens relief, after around 5 minutes of solid running, just as she thought she was going to collapse, as she turned another corner she saw Tilly had stopped outside some flats and was now bent over, breathing hard, looking through her bag.

Jen stopped running and felt relief that she hadn't lost her. As she approach Tilly who was still busy rummaging, Jen felt an overwhelming desire for Tilly rush through her. Her heart was beating so fast from the running, she was soaked through from the rain, her feet hurt from the pavement and yet she felt exhilarated. She hadn't lost her. She hadn't lost her. Thank god.

Tilly stood there swearing to herself as she searched through her bags for the keys to her flat, the tears rolling down her face, mingling with the rain. She was dripping wet, but she didn't care. All her worst fears had come true. It had been a total disaster. Jen had met someone else who meant more to her than she did. The thought gave her a sharp pain in her stomach, as if someone had punched her.

Just then, someone said her name and she looked up to see Jen standing there in front of her in pouring rain. Her hair stuck to her face, her dress soaked and clinging to the outline of her body, shoes in hand. She was walking towards her. Tilly felt the keys fall from her fingers and hit the floor. Tilly couldn't believe Jen had run after her. Why did she do that? Why was she here if she was in love with someone else?

Tilly started walking towards Jen and without saying another word, grabbed Jens face, pulling her in, kissing her lips so hard Jen almost stumbled at the force. Tillys tongue forced opened Jens mouth, and just as Tilly started to feel Jen kiss her back, start to feel Jens tongue explore Tillys mouth...she pulled away. Tears rolling down her cheeks. Tilly looked at Jen puzzled. The feeling of rejection written all over Tillys face. She was so confused.

Jen shook her head and started speaking, the words she lacked earlier on in the pub now flowing freely

"Tilly.. I... I can't do this! Not... Not like this. I can't after two years, just pretend what happened never happened. I thought I could. I have imagined kissing you over and over again, and it has always felt SO good.. it DID feel SO good... but things, ...well things have changed. I've changed. We've both changed." Jen swallowed and continued.

" I've spent hours at counselling over the past two years talking about my feelings for you, how much it hurt to loose you, how much you hurt me.. how much we hurt each other! I've been a mess at times, so lonely, using people for company, but it's never filled the void in my life I've had since we split up."

Jen was staring right at Tilly, tears still falling down her face as she spoke

"I care so much about you Tilly, you literally make me go to jelly inside when I see you, but I..it's true I HAVE met someone. Someone who has made me question these feelings. Not because I don't feel them, believe me ... right now all i can think about is lying next to you, naked, touching you. Feeling ... feeling you inside me".

Jen paused again and looking Tilly straight in the eyes before adding

"but I need to make sure these feelings are genuine, and not just from my memory. Not because we both THINK its going to work, not just because we've missed it!".

As Tilly stood there listening to Jen speak, she watched as the tears rolled down her face. Trying to take everything in, Tilly slowly began to understand what Jen was saying. As much as it hurt to hear Jen admit that she had doubts over her feelings, Tilly's feelings towards her, were real... Strong enough, she could understand Jens hesitance. It had after all been much easier for Tilly to get on with her life after they had split up. Her degree had made it easier, given her a set of ready made friends, her workload had convinced her she didn't have time to start seeing someone else. But maybe Jen had a point. Were they living in the past for the right or wrong reasons?

Tilly looked at both of them standing there on the street soaked to the bone, and gave Jen a weak smile.

"Jen I cannot even begin to tell you how happy I was when as saw you face on that stupid website. How muçh I want you, but I ... i hear what you are saying."

Jen wiped the tears from her face and looked at Tilly. "Tilly, I'm not saying this, us won't work... I ... I just think we need to be careful... I need to be careful."

Tilly reached down and took Jens hand, smiling softly she responded "I know. I get it." Tilly didn't think she needed any more time as she was 100% confident of her feelings, but she knew that Jen needed time. She was wrong to assume that after how things had finished between them, how Jen had been made to be the baddie and 'driven' out of town, that one kiss and it would all be OK.

Stroking Jens hand Tilly took a deep breath before adding with a cheeky smile "I know you want to... Need to take things slowly, need to talk things through, but how about we go in and take a shower, separately of course, before we catch a cold?"

Jen felt relief flooding through her body at having finally acknowledge her feelings and state of confusion. The last few days had been crazy and Jen felt like she needed a bit of a Time out. To regroup, assess and make sure she was making the right decision for the right reason. Still holding Tilly's hand she nodded in approval to Tilly's suggestion and followed Tilly through the door, out of the pouring rain.


	14. Chapter 14

As Jen closed the door behind her she followed Tilly into the hallway, still holding her hand. Jen took in the surroundings. the hallway was painted white and was decorated with four big black and white framed photos. Jen instantly recognised the Gormley statues, and swallowed hard at the memory of their time together. Just then Jen caught her reflection in a mirror hanging on the wall and stopped dead. Tilly felt Jens hand slip from her grip she turned to see Jen standing looking at her reflection in horror.  
" Oh. My. God!" She exclaimed. "Tilly. Why on earth didnt you tell me I looked such a mess?" Smiling, she joined Jen at the mirror, the two of them standing shoulder to shoulder.  
Tilly looked at the image in front of her. She honestly didnt know who looked worst. Their beautiful dresses were soaked through, cheeks stained with mascara, hair slapped to their faces. It was true, they weren't looking their best.

Looking at each other they burst out laughing.  
"Err maybe because I look just as bad!" Tilly said in between the laughs.  
Jen had tears streaming down her face, this time for a happier reason. Trying to compose herself she looked at Tiily in the mirror and responded in a teasy voice "oh I don't know Evans, I quiet like the bowl haircut look on you" before she cracked up laughing again.  
Turning to face Jen, Tilly gave Jen a playful slap on the arm and grabbing her hand again she started walkin towards the living room, pulling Jen behind her.

Having finally stopped laughing it was agreed that Jen would shower first. Tilly had got her own back on Jen by adding "...that it made sense for Jen to go first, for at her age it was easier to catch pneumonia." Jen had laughed at the comment, relieved that they were getting on OK...like old times.

Tilly showed Jen to her bedroom and pulled out some dry clothes for her to change into after her shower. Jen thought that Tilly's room was just how she had pictured it. Tidy and organised. There was a desk and computer and bookshelves crammed full of medical reference books. Jen realised she didn't even know what grades Tilly had got for her A-levels.  
"What did you get?"

Tilly looked over at Jen confused by the question. "Err what do you mean? What did I get for you to wear? It's just a tshirt and ..."

Tilly stopped talking as she saw Jen laughing realising that she had meant her exams. Tilly smiled at her error and slightly embarrassed said "I got an A in Biology. An A in Chemistry. An A in English.." She paused slightly  
"And for Art?" Jen asked excitedly  
"A*" Tilly smiled  
"Oh Tilly that's amazing. I'm so proud. I.. I mean you must have been so happy."  
Tilly looked Jen in the eyes "what can I say? I was lucky to have the best teacher... I mean.. teachers".

Tilly couldn't help herself. She was pleased that they were talking, and had agreed to take a couple of steps back, but it was killing her that Jen was standing there in front of her. In her bedroom, and Tilly couldn't touch her. Tilly watched Jen blush at her comment and turned away, shaking away the sexual thoughts that were running through her head.

"I'll ummm leave a towel for you in the bathroom OK?" Tilly said over her shoulder before adding "I'm going to open a bottle as I don't know about you, but I need a drink".  
Jen stood there taking a moment to replay the scene. When Tilly had been flirting with her. Jen felt the butterflies in her stomach start up again. This was going to be harder than she thought!

Jen felt so much better after the shower and quickly changed into the clothes Tilly had given her. Brushing her hair she looked in the mirror at her reflection and told herself that no matter what she felt, she had to stay in control. Seeing Tilly again had totally messed with her head. For the past two years it had been easier to live in the past, assume that all would be fine if she could go back and be with Tilly. But the fact that she had only recently met Kate and felt something for someone else for the first time ever, Jen was now doubting if going back... Back to Tilly was the right thing to do.

Her head was telling her to play it cool. Take her time. If it was meant to be, after all this time a few more days, weeks wouldn't make a difference. Better for them both to be sure. To know they were starting off, if it turned out that way, on the right footing.

That's what her head was telling her... Her heart was aching with the desire to touch Tilly. To be touched by Tilly. Jen let out a big sigh and unlocked the bathroom door and walked to the Living room where Tilly was holding out a glass of wine for her.

"Good shower?" Tilly asked  
"Amazing." Jen had responded "thanks for for the dry clothes".  
"No probs". Tilly smiled before adding "make yourself at home, I won't be long".

Jen returned the smile as she watched the redhead walk out of the room and into her bedroom. Jen walked over to a bookshelf and picked up a picture of Tilly with her arm wrapped around a incredibly sexy blonde haired woman. The two of them caught on camera, looking at each other laughing. Jen stared at the other woman in the picture and the way she was looking at Tilly. Was she a ex Jen wondered? there was definitely more than just friendship in her eyes. Jen put the picture down as a wave of jealousy flooded through her. She of course had no right to feel jealous, after all it wasn't as if she hadn't been with other people.

She saw another picture of Tilly on the beach taken in Abersoch with George, Maddie, Sinead and Esther. Seeing the young friends, arms around each other in a huddle for the camera, made Jen think back to her time in Hollyoaks. It had started so well getting the trainee teachers post so soon after graduating, then meeting Tilly, but it had ended so badly.

Taking a sip of her wine she looked at her watch to check the time and realised she must have left her watch in Tilly's room walking down the hallway towards the room, thinking that Tilly would still be in the shower, Jen paused silently outside the door to Tilly's room as she saw through the slightly open door the image of a naked Tilly. Jen felt the desire flood through her, felt the wetness instantly, had to force herself away from the door.. Away from the image. Tilly looked more beautiful than Jen had remembered...imagined all these years.

Quickly walking back to the living room Jens heart was beating so fast. The desire to walk into Tilly's room and kiss her all over was too much. Grabbing her bag, Jen found a piece of paper, scribbled a message before walking out of the flat, slowly closing the front door behind her. Tilly walked out of her room as she heard the front door close. Walking over to the kitchen table where Jens empty wine glass, Tilly saw her hastily written note.

'Sorry Tils. Something came up. I had to go. Call me... Soon. J x'

Tilly smiled as she picked up her phone and tapped in Jens number.

'Miss Gilmore, didn't anyone teach you it's rude to stare! X'


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you so much for all the kind reviews. **

**I'm sorry I promised a chapter tonight, but I'm all Eurovisioned out, so this is just a small holding chapter. I promise more soon. **

**Hope everyone is having a good Saturday? **

Later that night as Jen climbed into bed she picked up her phone and reread the message from Tilly

'Miss Gilmore, didn't anyone teach you it's rude to stare! X'

Jen had been mortified when the message had come through just after she had left Tillys flat. Mortified that Tilly had seen her watching her, but then Jen realised afterwards, by the suggestiveness in Tilly's words that maybe Tilly had planned it. Left the door open slightly... Hoping that Jen would see. It had all been too much and in a panic Jen had felt the need to leave.. In order to stop things getting out of hand.  
As she looked at the message one more time, Jen took a deep breath before responding:

'I couldn't help it. Besides i'm not Miss anymore! x'

Tilly spent the next day doing boring household chores, cleaning washing, shopping. She was due to start her summer job at the hospital tomorrow, so she wanted to make the most of her time and get things sorted. Tilly had struggled to sleep that night, too distracted after the events of the day, after being so near Jen again.  
She hadn't stopped thinking about her all day and had hoped the household chores would have helped her forget yesterday's events, a busy mind and all that, but nothing had helped. Tilly replayed the whole day in her head, from the moment Jen had walked into the bar to the moment she had sent the text message. Tilly knew Jen still had feelings for her.  
She could tell that Jen was fighting hard to resist acting on those feelings, and Tilly had decided that she would play along with it.

Jen had slept late and when she finally got up it was near midday. She looked at her phone and saw she had a message from Kate.

'Hi. Not to appear too keen, as I'm way too cool for that...(cough,cough) But well I was wondering if you wanted to meet up today? Maybe a walk along the river as the sun is shining for once. This could be our summer this year!'  
Jen took a deep breath and considered her response. She wanted to see Kate again. Wanted to see how it felt together with her. If it was as strong, or had the potential to be as strong as Jen was feeling. But what about Tilly? Jen decided she need to come clean to Kate. She her to know the truth about Jens background, and how a big part of it (Tilly) had after two years just resurfaced.  
Jen tapped in a response. 'Hey. Sounds like an excellent idea. I'll bring the sunblock, you can buy the ice creams :). Meet at Waterloo bridge at 1.30pm? J x

As Jen left her room for caffeine she bumped into her flat mate James who was coming out of the shower, towel around his waist.  
"Morning gorgeous" he said planting a kiss on her cheek before adding "although it's more like afternoon! Since when did you sleep in so late. Heavy night?"  
Jen laughed before adding "lets just say its been an eventful 48 hrs"  
"Ohhh sounds intriguing. Put the kettle on and I'll throw on some clothes and you can tell me all about it!"

Jen and James sat down on the sofa with their mugs of tea and Jen filled James in with the events of the last 48 hrs - since they had last seen each other in the club.  
Jen started the conversion " so basically after you copped off with that guy on Friday night and left me all on my own, I may have met someone, and gone back to theirs."  
" and? nothing new there Gilmore."  
Jen wasn't offended by James's comments as it was true. He was used to her occasional one night stands.

" I know, but this is the weird thing. The sex was pretty average as we were both wasted, BUT, as I left the next day.. Well there was something there! Something that had been missing before."  
Jen looked at James for a reaction and saw him smile.  
"We'll this IS encouraging. Do tell more!"  
Jen sighed before continuing "so Kate, the girl I met on Friday lives in Clapham, so I had a big walk of shame back the next day, and this is the weird, freaky thing.." Jen paused "I .. Well I felt this burning urge to see her again... So I umm well I invited her over"  
"Woahhhh Gilmore. That is SO not cool... And so frigging lesbian! Liking someone SO much you just HAVE to see them!"  
Jen laughed, knowing that James was taking the piss out of the old joke 'what do you take with you on a second date with a lesbian?' A cat and a moving in van. Boom boom!

"Anyway... " Jen continued "she came over and we had a really good time. Like the best I've had with someone for ages"  
James smiled and reached over and grabbed Jens arm "that's great J. So what's the problem? You FINALLY met someone you really like. Go for it babe. What's holding you back?"  
Jen looked down at her mug of tea "Tilly!" James looked at Jen in a confused way.  
Jen continued "we umm met up yesterday"  
"You did what? How the fuck did that happen?"  
"Long story, but she basically contacted me online and we met.."  
"And?"  
Jen hesitated slighted "and nothing happened"  
James looked at Jen in the face before adding 'Fuck Jen! That's the last time I'm leaving you alone". He laughed " so you meet the girl you've been pinning after for two years and nothing happens! REALLY?"  
"Really!" Jen protested. "I... I'm so confused as to what to do for the best."  
James reached over for Jen's hand and gave it a squeeze.  
"Ah bless J. You just have to,do what you feel is right. Follow the heart for once!"


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks for the kind words everyone. slight Eurovision hangover head today, but i guess that means plenty of time for writing. So i thought it was time Jen told Kate about her past. Let me know what you think?**

**PS have you seen the pictures of Lucy Dixon (Tilly) at the soap awards? Alas no Amy. I miss Jen :( **

Jen was early to meet Kate, and as she stood on Waterloo Bridge looking out at the London skyline, she smiled as she took in her new hometown. It had been hard moving down to the big smoke, only knowing James, but over the past year, she had started to really feel at home in London. She loved the fact that it was so diverse and multicultural. Jen felt comfortable as a gay woman in London and, after Hollyoaks she loved that people didnt judge her for it.

It was bank holiday Monday and so the southbank was heaving with people making the most of the extra day off and the sunshine. As she stood there taking in the view, she suddenly felt a arm slip around her waist and a pair of lips softly touch her cheek. Turning to face Kate the butterflies were back.  
"Hello you" Jen said with a big smile on her face.  
Kate smiled back at her and moved in for another kiss, this time planting her lips on Jens mouth. As she pulled away she opened her eyes and looked at Jens face

"mmmm yeap, it felt as good as I remembered. Just needed to check" Jen blushed slightly at Kate's words, but she too had enjoyed the feeling of Kate's lips pressed against hers. This was going to be hard!

"You looked deep in thought. Have you been here long?" Kate asked turning back to look at the river and skyline.  
"No, just a few minutes. I still get taken aback sometimes by the skyline. It's so nice by the river, London is such a happier place in the sunshine. Don't you think?"  
Kate laughed "it is happier, but you do see some sights! Some very white legs and hairy toes... Not to mention the stink of BO on the tube. Blurgh!"  
Jen laughed along with Kate and the two of them started walking towards the southbank.  
"I'm glad you suggested meeting" Jen said before adding "there's... There's something I need to tell you. Do you fancy a coffee?" She said looking Kate in the face  
"Sure." Kate replied with a slight puzzlement in her voice as she wondered what Jen was going to say.

The grabbed two take away coffees and found a empty bit of wall to sit on by the river.  
Taking a deep breath Jen turned to face Kate and started speaking  
"OK so I know we've only just met... I mean I've literally only known you a few days, but..." Jen paused and looked down at her coffee cup before finishing her sentence

"..Well I like you. I mean I think we get on well... And of course I don't know how you feel... Or what you want" Jen stopped as realised she was rambling with the nerves she was feeling. She looked up as she felt Kate place a hand on Jens thigh.

Smiling back at Jen Kate spoke "Jen... I think I know what you are trying to say. I..I like you too. It's all a bit unexpected isn't it? I mean I honestly didn't think it would be more than a one night thing." Kate laughed at her own words before adding "hmmm I sound like a complete slapper! but do you know what I mean?" She asked looking at Jen. Jen nodded her head and added "I don't think either of us thought it would be more than that. More than sex, but there's something here right?"

Jen turned to Kate for confirmation. Looking into Jens eyes, Kate slowly nodded "yeah. Yeah I think there is. I... I don't really know what yet... But it definitely feels different. Well to me anyway".

"And me." Jen added before taking a deep breath and looking back down at her coffee cup "which is why I need to tell you something. Something about my past".

Kate looked at a nervous looking Jen sat next to her and answered with a slow and worried "Okaaaaay! " Jen noticed she had removed her hand from her leg.

Jen took a deep breath "Before I came to London I... I didn't work in publishing. I was in fact an art teacher."

Kate looked so puzzled "annnnd?"

"And well I...met someone one day and instantly fell in love with her... Only... Only it turned out she was...one of my pupils." Jen looked up from the coffee cup and waited for Kate's reaction.

"You had sex with one of your pupils?" Kate asked in astonishment.

Jen shook her head "noooo.. Well I mean yes...but it wasn't really like that. It wasn't just sex! I was totally in love with her, with Tilly and well, it just didn't feel wrong. She was in the 6th form and..We... I tried to stop it, but it was just too strong".

"Okaaaaaay. So you fell in love with a pupil and then what happened?" Kate was clearly shocked by Jens news and was taking the information in, not really sure how to react.

Jen blushed as she embarrassingly told the story how the affair had ended, how it had been revealed and how she had been arrested and decided to leave Hollyoaks.

"Listen Jen... I mean I know honesty is important and all that... But I have to admit... That I'm really puzzled by this sudden need to tell me about this!" Kate let out a loud sigh "I mean we've just met... We're just getting to know each other... Why tell me this now? What difference does it make to me? Don't get me wrong... I'm ...I'm struggling to get my head around the fact you were in love with one of your pupils... but I don't see what it has to do with me now?" Kate paused and looked at Jen before adding "unless ... Unless you still love her? Still love Tilly?"

Jen let out a groan and put her head in her hands. "Kate... It's all such a fucking mess!" Turning to look directly at her, she continued "I'll be honest with you, I haven't found it easy to move on. I've found it hard to open up. To think about starting something new with someone else... But then... And see... this is where it gets really fucked up... Where it impacts on you... I think... thought i may have found that person with you!" Jen leant over and picked up one of Kate's hands and held it in hers. "You have made me feel like this." She paused and whispered "you've put the butterflies back inside my stomach, you've given a reason to take a risk... To open up again". Using her free hand, Jen wiped away a tear that had formed in her eye and had just started its slow descent down her cheek.

Jen felt Kate give her hand a gentle squeeze. "OK. So I've made you feel like taking the plunge again. Well that's a good thing isn't it? " she asked puzzled by Jens tears.

Jen could only nod her answer "it is...well It was! Oh god. I just don't know"

Kate was so confused "what do you mean WAS?. I'm sorry Jen, but I just don't understand. How can it now been in the past? What's happened since Saturday?"

Jen took a deep breath, as she finally felt her feelings came crashing down. Falling down from a great height... Falling into place. Looking Kate in the face, Jen slowly gave her answer... "Tilly. Tilly happened!"


	17. Chapter 17

**So I think it's time for some Jelly action! Hope you enjoy ;) **

After her chores, Tilly had gone for a run to help her relax and was lying in the bath when she heard her phone beep with a message. Reaching over the bath to where she had left her phone, Tilly nearly dropped it in the water when she saw who the message was from.

'Need to talk. Are you free to meet? J x'  
Tilly's heart started beating fast as she tapped a reply. Was it a good talk or a bad talk she wondered. 'Sure. Just in bath at the mo. could be ready in 20 mins. Where do you want to meet?'  
Her phone buzzed instantly with Jens reply. Great. I'll come to yours. J x

Jen had left Kate at the south bank 30 mins ago. Seeing Kate again had really helped Jen understand her feelings. Help give her some clarity over what had happened over the weekend.  
She was now in North London and walking the short distance from the tube to Tilly's flat. She looked at her watch, it had only been 5 mins since she had heard back from Tilly... she knew couldn't wait 15 mins. As she reached Tilly's front door and pressed the bell she took a deep breath, trying to control her breathing. Sure of what she wanted. Who she wanted.

Tilly had literally just climbed out the bath and grabbed a towel when she heard the door bell go. Who the fuck was that? Wrapping the towel around her she quickly ran to the door, cursing under her breath. As she opened the door her mouth dropped open as she saw Jen standing there.

Jen didn't speak. She just walked into the hallway and took Tilly into her arms, kicking the door shut behind her. She knew what she wanted... She wanted Tilly so much...Jen looked into Tillys eyes and whispered " I love you Tilly Evans" before planted her mouth on Tilly's. Her tongue exploring Tilly's warm mouth, getting faster as she felt Tilly's body relax in her arms, and Tillys tongue start to explore Jens mouth as she returned the kiss. Jen moved her mouth to Tilly's neck, planting kisses down the side, on her naked shoulder "I love you SO much".

Tilly let out a groan of desire as she felt Jens lips on her neck, on her shoulder. Heard her words. Jen loved her! Oh god, Tilly wanted to cry with happiness. Was this really happening. Jen moving her hands underneath Tilly's towel, stroking her naked skin, made it instantly feel real.

The sensation of Jens touch was too much to be a dream, and Tilly had dreamed this moment enough times over the past years. The moment when they were reunited. The moment their desire for each other overcame everything. This, Tilly thought as she pulled Jen in, closer to her... This was that moment.

Jen's heart was pounding so fast, the surge of desire was overwhelming. Jen could feel the heat and wetness between her legs as they kissed each other hungrily. Jen pulled away, unable to control her hands from going where they really wanted to go... From where her tongue wanted to go.. Wanted to taste. Holding Tilly's face in between her hands Jen looked deep into Tilly's eyes so make sure she wanted it too. To make sure Jen had chosen the right person.

Tilly was in heaven. She wanted to feel Jen so much, wanted to feel Jens touch again, to be taken to that level of ecstasy she hadn't been for over two years. As she felt Jens lips pull away she opened her eyes, and the desire was clear for both of them to see.

"I want you to fuck me" Tilly whispered into Jens ear. The words almost sending both of them over the edge. Jen didn't need any more confirmation, she knew this was right. What they both wanted with all their hearts. Jen's desire took over from that point.

Tilly gasped as Jen forcefully pushed her back against the wall, pulled her towel open so it dropped on the floor and instantly squeezed Tilly's hard, erect nipples. Jen positioned her leg in between Tilly's naked thighs, and felt Tilly take a deep intake of breath. Taking one of Tilly's perfectly formed breasts in her mouth, Jen wanted this feeling to go of forever. She could feel Tilly's body shaking with desire and Jen knew she was near. Moving her head back up to Tilly's naked neck, Jen planted small gentle kisses all over Tillys beautiful smooth skin, Tilly grinding against her thigh, jen could feel the wetness of Tilly through her jeans.

Caught in the moment, her lust so intense, Jen just about heard Tilly moan "touch me. on god Jen...touch me please!."

Needing no further encouragement, Jen reached down with her hand between Tilly's leg, which opened welcoming her in.

Jen was so turned on herself hearing Tilly groan her name. She knew she would come as soon as Tilly's orgasm started. She wouldn't be able to control herself. Jen gently ran her fingers over Tilly's soft, trimmed hair, feeling the heat coming from between her legs. Tilly turned her face into Jen's neck "fuuuuck Jen." Jen couldn't wait any longer she inserted two fingers forcefully into Tilly's wetness and slowly pulled them out again. In and Out.

Tilly's body was moving along it the rhythm of Jens fingers. Jen felt Tilly wrap her arms around Jens back tighter, pulling her nearer, increasing the friction of their movements. Jen moved her thumb to stimulate Tilly further and it was this final action that was to tip Tilly, and in turn, Jen over the edge. As Tilly's orgasm gripped her body, she dug her nails into Jens back and let out a small scream of pleasure. She had been waiting a LONG for that feeling again and it felt amazing. Better than ever before. Tilly's legs instantly turned to Jelly, and she needed Jen's support to help her stand.

Tilly tightened her grip of Jens back and kissed her passionately before gently pulling away and looking Into Jens eyes. "Well hello you" they both smiled at each other, before Tilly added "I take it you know what you want now?"

Jen smiled back and nodded "I want you. I want you Tilly. I want you always".


	18. Chapter 18

Taking Jen by the hand Tilly had led her to her bedroom where the two of them spent the next hour making up for lost time. Touching, kissing, teasing each other to ecstasy over and over again, until Tilly had told Jen that her body literally couldn't take anymore. It had after all a fairly barren couple of years, and now all of a sudden she was experiencing multiple orgasm after orgasm. Not that she was complaining. She just needed a short time out.

Laughing Jen had offered to pop to the shops for food supplies and to cook for them.  
"That..." Tilly had said before planting her lips in Jens "would be amazing".  
Jen smiled and pulled Tilly in for another kiss. "Besides, after what you have just done to me, I'm not actually sure I can walk!"  
Jen laughed as she slowly started making her way out of the bed.  
"Woah" Jen cried out as she felt every part of her body start complaining as she moved to get dressed, bending down to pick her clothes up off the floor. "Fuck I am going to ache SO much tomorrow!" Turning to a laughing Tilly who was lying on the bed still recovering. "Getting too old are we?" She teased.  
Jen smiled at Tilly's comment "cheeky cow!" She groaned as she struggled to put her Bra on.

"Every ache will be totally worth it! I'll be smiling like a loon." Jen leant down and placed a kiss on Tilly's lips. Those perfectly formed, plump lips. Tilly reached out and pulled Jen towards her "Errr I thought you needed a time out?" Jen laughed  
"I do... Did... I just can't resist you". Tilly responded.

Half dressed, Jen climbed back onto the bed and sat next to Tilly, who managed to find just enough strength to lift her head up off the pillow and onto Jens chest. Stroking Tilly's hair Jen looked down at Tilly and felt so happy. "Tilly"  
"Hmm" came the response from a slightly sleepy and totally contented Tilly.  
"You do know why I said what I did before don't you? I mean about me needing to be sure. Sure we were doing this for the right reasons?"

Tilly turned her head to look up at Jen "I didnt to start with and it hurt like hell thinking you had chosen someone else over me, but I get what you have been through, and so yeah I understand that you needed to be sure". Tilly held Jens hand before adding "you do realise there was no way I was going to lose you to whatever her name was...Cathy?"  
"Kate"  
"Right - Kate!" Tilly pulled a yucky face "we've always had something special. We both know that. We just had too much going against us back then, but not anymore." Tilly spoke confidently and with passion. "I knew you needed time, and I would have given you that time to realise the strength of your feelings, but I would have totally made it impossible for you to ignore me".  
Jen laughed "by leaving bedroom doors open whilst standing there naked you mean"  
"Exactly!" Tilly laughed. "Jen I know I have some making up to do to you after what happened with the police".

"Shhhhh" Jen said placing a finger over Tilly's mouth "I don't wanna talk about that today. We both did bad things, we both messed up. How about we save that make up session for another time!"

"OK. But we have a second chance here right? We've been given a second chance... It's within our control this time."

Jen looked at Tilly and nodded, before whispering "it's TOTALLY within our control" and leant in for another kiss. Tilly let out a small groan of desire as Jens lips caressed hers. She opened her eyes in disappointment as she felt Jen pull away.

"Hey! I was enjoying that!" Tilly protested.  
"Me too, but I need to take advantage of your rest period to make it to the shops, otherwise I fear I won't make it out!" Tilly laughed as she lifted her head off of Jens chest and allowed her to stand up and continue dressing.  
"What made you change your mind so quickly?" Tilly asked as she watched Jen look for her top.  
"Hmm what do you mean?"  
"Well on Sunday, despite me pouncing on you and my best attempts to seduce you, you walked away. And now you are here!" Jen stopped looking for her top and turned to face

Tilly who was all of a sudden looking a little serious. "What made you change your mind?"  
"When I saw you naked in your bedroom I fought SO hard to resist the urge within me, the desire seeing you again was making me feel. I had to run, as I didn't trust myself a minute longer". Jen checked to make sure Tilly was following "my emotions were all over the place. I mean I was in bed with someone else on Friday and Saturday night thinking that maybe, just maybe i was ready to move on... to try it again... with someone new... with Kate".  
"So what happened to change that?" Tilly asked.  
"You did. And that's what I told Kate when I met her earlier today".  
"You've been with Kate today?" Tilly asked angrily in a jealous way.  
"Yes, but not in the way you are thinking, so calm down".

Jen picked her top up from behind the door and pulled it on, before walking over to sit beside Tilly who was now sat up in bed looking grumpy.  
"Tilly if this is going to work, we need to trust each other and be totally honest. I was honest with you when I said I needed time to think, needed time to make sure us getting back together was what I really wanted. I know you didn't like hearing that, but I was totally confused. Meeting Kate today was the reality check i needed. I needed confirmation that whilst I do.. DID like her, those feelings cannot compete with what I feel for you! What I have always felt for you!"

Jen looked Tilly in the eyes which were filling up with tears and whispered "Tilly.. i love you so much. I've always loved you. You are my life Tilly. I know that now".  
Jen leant over and wiped the tear that had started falling down Tilly's face. "Oh please don't cry"  
Tilly sniffed up the tears and wiped her face with the bed sheet "i'm OK... It's.. It's just that I've waited so long to hear you say those words to me. I... I feel like my life has been on paused the last two years... And now, well now I get to press play again."  
Jen pulled Tilly into her arms and the two of them sat there, holding each other, reassuring each other. After a few minutes, after the two of them had composed themselves, Jen grabbed her bag and left for the shops for food.

As Tilly finally climbed out of bed, pulling on some trackie bottoms and a hoodie (not bothering with underwear) she reflected on Jens words to her, and taking deep breaths enjoyed the feeling of utter happiness being with Jen gave her.

As she pulled on some socks she heard a unfamiliar phone beep and after following the noise found Jens phone under the bed. Tilly reached under and grabbed the phone to see Kate's name flash up on the screen with a text message.  
Without stopping to think about her actions, or Jens earlier words about trust, Tilly clicked open the message.

_Jen, I've been thinking about what you said, about you needing time. I agree there is something between us, something different... So I'm just letting you know.. That I'm here.. I'll wait if it doesn't work out, if you change your mind. But I won't wait for long. K x_

Tilly's hearts was racing."Fuck you Kate" Tilly said defiantly as she press the delete button and the message disappeared from Jens phone for good!


	19. Chapter 19

**Just a small chapter for now. **

Jen had returned from the shops laded down with goods. Tilly decided she was going to forget all about the message from Kate. Tilly had only just found Jen again, there was no way she was going to loose her again.

As they ate supper, they filled each other in their lives over the past two years. Tilly telling Jen all about her studies and the work she was starting tomorrow at the hospital.  
Jen talked about her accidental career in publishing, her holidays to Thailand and California.

"Talking of holidays" Tilly had started. " I've promised my friend Sophie, that I would go and stay with her for a week next month."  
"Sophie?" Jen had asked trying to contain the curiosity in her voice.  
"Yeah she's the blonde one in the photos over there" nodding over to the picture Jen had seen the day before.  
Tilly laughed "she's totally crazy, a reminds me a bit of Maddie". Pausing slightly to remember her friend.  
"Anyway, her parents have this amazing place in the South of France, and well she kind set me these five stupid challenges over the summer. One of which was to visit her so I was't studying over the whole of the summer, like the geek she calls me!"

"OK... So what were the other challenges?" Jen asked

Tilly laughed as she reeled off the list

" number 1 - Not pick up one text book for at least a whole month. So far, so good, but I have had other things on my mind of late" Tilly gave Jen a sexy smile before continuing with the list ...  
" Two - Not spend the whole holiday working at the hospital. Three - Get rip roaring drunk on at least 5 occasions." Jen interrupted "oooh, I think I can help with that one."

"Yes, i'm sure you can! number four was the holiday and Number 5. well that's the one I'm worried about the most. I... I just don't know how I'm gonna achieve that one?"

Jen looked up at Tilly smiling away. "ooooKaaay... so what WAS number five?" Knowing she was being teased.

Tilly leant in for a kiss before adding "To have lots of sex with a gorgeous woman".

"You cheeky cow!" Jen cried in horror and pushed Tilly away from her, the two of them laughing at the same time.

"Seriously though Jen.. You should totally come with me on holiday. Sophie wouldn't mind. She'll be too busy flirting with Brad, our other flatmate, to probably even notice. I was actually preparing myself for playing the gooseberry."

"Oh Tilly that sounds amazing, but well I don't even know them!"

"Soooo?" Tilly argued back. "You know me and I love you so they will of course naturally love you too!" Tilly looked at Jen with her big eyes, pleading... Willing Jen to say yes. "Pleeeeeease!"

Jen laughed "ok let me think about it. I'd need to check with work and obviously you need to check with your frie..."

"YAY" Tilly cheered, not listening to the rest of the words.

"I didnt say yes!" Jen protested

"I know" Tilly said confidently "but you didn't say no... So I'm optimistic I can talk you around" as she finished her sentence she pulled Jen in for a kiss.

In between kisses Jen playfully asked "and how exactly would you do that Tilly Evans?"

Rising to the challenge, Tilly leant in and whispered in Jens ear..."let's go to bed and I'll show you".

"Well I suppose I'd better be going" Jen had reluctantly declared as they lay in each others arms after an hour of more pleasure.

"noooooo! Up please stay the night." Tilly had pleaded.

"I can't Tils, I don't have any work clothes, besides you need a good nights sleep before starting your new job tomorrow." "I'll sleep much better with you here." Tilly had responded. "Come on jen. It's our first night back together again, don't you want to stay?"

"Of course I do sweet, I'm just trying to think what is best".

"Well can I remind you Jennifer Gilmore, that you are no longer the teacher... And that I,Tilly Evans, knows what is best for me... And that is for you to stay right here. In my bed. With me!"

Jen laughed knowing she was fighting a losing battle. "Ok, OK, but I'll have to get up early tomorrow to go home and get some work clothes."

"No problem, we can get up together and I can go for my run at the same time". Tilly looked Jen in the face, triumphantly before adding "Jen.. Stop fighting this. We have to just go with it... Go with our feelings... Not get hung up on the right and wrong thing to do. We made that mistake before and look how that ended!"

Jen let out a sigh "I know.. I know you,are right. I guess old habits die hard! I promise I will try my hardest to not let my head mess things up... I have to go with the heart more... I mean, it's worked out pretty well so far today!"

Tilly held Jen in her arms before adding "I won't do anything to make you doubt your decision Jen" thinking of Kate's text message, the thought of her standing by ready to 'pounce' on Jen. "we have to make this work this time!"

Over the next couple of weeks they spent as much time together as possible. Jen more or less moved into Tilly's flat and would often have dinner ready when she came home from the hospital. Tilly's job was hard work, but she loved being part of the day to day workings of a busy hospital. She was effectively a runner, collecting ane delivering blood samples from all the wards to the labs for assessment. She was often exhausted when she got home and so it was amazing to walk through the door to the smell of something amazing in the oven prepared by Jen. At weekends they did what every other, went to the cinema, ate out, visited exhibitions, sat in the park with the newspapers... They were enjoying being a couple at long last.

One night the two of them had gone out with Jens flatmate and his latest squeeze. They had gone to this gay club in south east London and the four of them had ahead far too many shots, when Jen who was queuing at the bar for the next round, heard a familiar voice "Hi. I'm Kate ... Can I buy you a drink?" Smiling at the familiar words, the words which Jen had used to chat Kate up that time, Jen turned to see her smiling back.

"hey Kate." Jen said leaning in to give her a peck on the cheek. "How are you? You.. You look great". When Jen had met Kate last she had explained that Tilly had just resurfaced in her life, and that despite having feelings for Kate, Jen just had to give it another go with Tilly. Kate had accepted that their timing was off and had wished her well before going their separate ways. Jen had then rushed to see Tilly, desperate to be with her, to let her know how she really felt. Jen was pleased it didn't feel awkward with Kate.

"I'm good thanks Jen. How about you? I take it as you never responded to my text that things are going well?"

Jen was puzzled "text? What text?"

"oh you know... The one in which I embarrassingly said that I would wait and that if it didn't work out... to give me a call!"

Jen stood there recalling her messages and she couldn't remember receiving a message from Kate after they had last seen each other.

Leaning in closer to Kate so she could be heard, placing her hand on Kate's arm, Jen replied "Ummm I'm really sorry Kate... but I... I never got it. I don't recall ever seeing it."

Kate shrugged "that's weird as it definitely went through. Anyway... I take it by the way that redhead over there is watching is like a hawk, that things are going OK!" Kate nodded behind Jen and as Jen turned to look in the direction of Kate's eyes, she saw Tilly standing there staring at the two of them, looking at Jens hand on Kate's shoulder. Jelousy all over her face. Jealousy and worry!

Jen got the drinks said her goodbyes to Kate and walked back over to the group.

"Who was that?" Tilly hissed at her.

James realised he was best out of this grabbed his boyfriends hand and the two of them heading for the Dance floor.

Jen looked Tilly in the eyes and said in a calm voice "that was Kate."

"Kate! Tilly had cried out, raising her voice. "What the fuck did she want?" Tilly was worried now. Worried about what words had been exhanged.

"she" Jen paused to watch Tillys reaction "she was asking show things were going between us"

"and what did you say?" Tilly asked, with a hint of worry in her voice

"Tilly... " Jen, remembered she had left her phone behind when she had gone to the shops, the day Kate hatext not the text. "...did you go through my phone and delete a message from Kate?"

Jen was angry now. They had to trust each other, Jen had made that clear from the very start. If Tilly had done that, if she deleted Kate's text, then Tilly had totally gone too far.

Jen didn't need to wait for Tilly to confirm her suspcion with words, Jen could tell may her face that she had done it. Leaning down to grab her bag from the floor Jen looked Tilly in the face "Tilly...you should have trusted me!" And with that she walked past Tilly and out of the club.

"Shiiiiiit" Tilly shouted, realising the mess she had caused, reaching down to get her coat she quickly downed her drink for Dutch courage before running after Jen.


	20. Chapter 20

**Thank you for continuing to read this story and for your reviews. Always nice to read them. Hope you like this chapter? **

Jen hadn't got far when Tilly caught up with her.

"Jen...listen...wait" Tilly pleaded as she walked along side Jen who refused to look at Tilly.

Tilly reached for Jen's hand as she stopped walking causing Jen to stop too.

Annoyed, Jen shook her hand free and shouted "what Tilly? What is it you want me to listen to?"

Reaching down to grab Jens hand again, Tilly forced Jen to look her in the eyes "to me Jen. Listen to me... Please." Tilly paused before adding " I know what I did was wrong OK. I know I messed up. I shouldn't have gone into your phone... Shouldn't have read Kate's message and I was totally put of order to delete it... But you must know why I did it?" Tilly asked.

Jen shook her head at Tilly "Tilly if you don't trust me..."

"I do trust you"

"Right, so if you fucking well trust me then why are you deleting messages in my phone?"

"Message Jen. it was one message, so don't make this out to be something bigger than it is OK!" Tilly was in the wrong, but she was also standing up for herself. This was a stupid argument.

"I've apologised. I messed up, but when I saw what she wrote... About waiting for you... If things didn't work out between us... Well I...I just panicked!"

"Panicked?"

"Yeah. Like massively. I had just that day got you back... And here was this other woman offering herself to you..."

"A woman I had earlier turned down for you!" Jen pointed out

"OK, I know... But I was scared and worried that maybe you would have second doubts again"

Tilly pulled Jen towards her "Jen I fucked up OK. I did something I shouldn't have done and I'm really sorry. But that doesn't mean I don't trust you OK" looking Jen in the eyes "I'm not a Robot you know, I have feelings... And one of those feelings at the exact moment was jealousy. I was jealous of Kate and the fact that you had admitted you had feelings for her... Even though you had "picked me"... I was jealous and I acted without thinking of the consequences."

"Please Jen... Can we... Can we just forget all about this?" Tilly asked pleadingly as she wrapped her arms around Jens back.

"Tilly I need to know that this isn't a game to you?" Jen asked seriously "I need to know that you are in the 100%, and we're completely open and honest with each other...no more lies"

Tilly nodded "Jen I promise you I am completely into this... 100%... It's just that sometimes we make mistakes... And I fucked up here OK."

Tilly pulled Jen closer so her lips were now hear Jens and they were standing face to face, Tilly whispered "let me make it up to!" Tilly planted a small lingering kiss on Jens lips, before moving her mouth to Jens neck and whispering in her ear "let me show you how 100% I am into this... Into..." She paused as she planted small kisses on Jens neck, Jen feeling Tilly's breath so near to her... Making her heart beat faster... "Into" Tilly repeated as she sucked Jens earlobe "...YOU!"

Jen let out a small groan as she felt the wave of desire flood through her. Pulling Tilly's face towards her Jen kissed Tilly forcefully on the lips, the two of them eager to please each other. Their tongues exploring each others mouths, teasing each other.

As they stood there in the middle of the street, their kisses intensifying, they had momentarily forgotten their surroundings. It was only when a car tooted their horn in admiration that they realised they should probably stop.

Tilly pulled away from Jen first "we...umm we should get a cab" she said leaning back in for another kiss.

As Jen pulled away, she felt the need to feel Tilly right there and then. It was immediate. "I don't think I can wait Tilly" Jen had responded as she looked over her shoulder at their surroundings, and without really thinking, she grabbed Tilly's hand and started running "come with me!"

"Jen!" Tilly had laughed... "where are we going?" as she followed Jen, the two of them running away from the main road into a side street.

Jen laughed back "I've no idea... Just somewhere more private." Jen had responded, before spotting an ideal spot of a shop doorway that was partially obscured by big oak tree.

"There... Over there!" Jen pointed to the dark doorway and pulled Tilly behind her.

When they reached the doorway, Jen pushed Tilly back into the darkness, unable to control herself any longer. The drink inside her had made her lose all of her inhibitions, and her desire for Tilly, desire to feel Tilly, to make her scream her name as she came, was too much.

"God, you are so fucking sexy" Jen whispered as she started kissing Tilly. Tilly responded, enjoying this dare devil side to Jen that she had missed for so long. Returning the kisses, it was long before Tilly was begging Jen to touch her, begging her to put her fingers inside her!

Jen followed instructions and groaned as she felt how Tilly had become.

"I want you to touch me too!" Jen had pleaded, Tilly willingly obeying as she forced her hand down Jens jeans and down the front of her pants. Jen groaned as she felt Tilly fingers start rubbing her,Jens own fingers doing the same to Tilly, the two of their bodies grinding together. Jens body, forcing Tilly back further against the closed shop doorway.

"Oh yes Jen!" Tilly had groaned in pleasure to indicate she was near to reaching her orgasm. Jen's fingers speed up, rubbing Tilly harder. As soon as Jen started to hear, to feel Tilly's orgasm take grip of her body, it was enough to send Jen over the edge as she threw her head back "fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck" Jen had cried out at the point she had felt the explosion between her legs, she quickly reached down and stopped Tilly's hand from moving, the sensation quickly changing from pleasure to pain.

"God Jen" Tilly panted into Jens neck "that was fucking ace!"

Jen let out a small naughty laugh ... "Mmmm it was wasn't it!" She replied kissing Tilly's neck. "I errrrm don't know what came over me!"

Tilly smiled a naughty smile and replied " I think that was me."

Jen smiled back "yes Tilly Evans I believe you did. And it felt soooo good!" Nuzzling Tilly's neck again.

"OK so as fun as this has been, I think we'd better stop now and find ourselves a cab" Tilly had suggested, playfully pushing Jen away.

"Spoilsport!"

"I know, I know... But I'm more than happy to pick this up again back at the flat!" Adding with a laugh "that's if you can wait this time!"

Jen laughed, "yeah I think now that I've got that out of my system... I should be able to handle the 10 minute cab journey home".

Tilly leant in and kissed Jen on the lips. "Jen... I promise you, no more lies"

Jen looked Tilly in the eyes and could tell she meant it. She hated arguing, but they had sorted it out, and Jen felt happier hearing that Tilly trusted her.

"No. Although as make up sex goes, that was pretty hot!" She laughed as the two of the made themselves presentable before leaving the dark door well.

"So..." Tilly started "you do know I pass this place on my way to work each morning... And now I'm not gonna be able to walk past without thinking of you! Of you touching me! The owners are a sweet little Chinese couple. Mr and Mrs Wong"

Jen pulled a 'opps' face before adding. "Sorry Mr and Mrs Wong...but that felt so ...RIGHT!" Jen smiled at her lame joke as Tilly groaned and slapped Jen on the bum as they walked away, heading back to the main road to get a cab. Tilly adding, "I'm not so sure they would agree if they ever saw that!". The two of them completely oblivious to the red flashing light of the infrared security camera on the wall that had been pointing at them the whole time! Opps ;)


	21. Chapter 21

After much persuasion, Jen had finally given in to Tilly over a trip to France and Jen had agreed that she would fly out with Tilly for a long weekend. That way, as Jen had pointed out, they had a little holiday together, but Tilly also got to spend some time alone with her friends.

When Tilly had send Sophie an email informing her of her news, and progress over the tasks she had set, she had been a bit surprised by Sophies response back. When Tilly had moved to London she had wanted a clean break, so whenever she was asked about her relationship history, Tilly had always been vague. She had told people that she had had a serious girlfriend back home, but that for various reason, it hadn't worked out. She had told no one the full story of Jen, not even Sophie.

As Tilly sat down at the hospital one lunchtime to email Sophie she couldn't stop smiling as she typed her news

**From: Tilly_Evans1 **

**To:Supersophie **

**Date: 23 August 2013 13.09**

_Bonjour sexy lady!_

_Hope you are coping well the stress of your hectic holiday itinerary? Which I imagine to be something along the lines of:_

_Wake up around 10.30. _

_Pull on bikini, havanas and ray bans and walk the short distance to the shaded veranda for some freshly brewed coffee and warm croissant prepared by the help. Maybe a small bowl of fresh fruit salad and some freshly squeezed fruit juice._

_Then after a quick check of the gossip columns, it's a case of making the long walk to the sun lounger by the pool with your kindle and iPhone where you will spend the next 6 hours or so topping up that tan! So am I right? ;) I am of course insanely jealous, but very much looking forward to living your life in a couple of weeks time._

_So you know how you set me those stupid tasks, well I'm actually doing really well on all of them... Especially number 5! the one about having LOTS of sex with a gorgeous woman! Eeeeeeeeek :) So remember how I told you I had a serious relationship back in Hollyoaks, only it didn't work out... well we kinda stumbled upon each other (long story but basically I have YOU to thank!). Anyway, Jen (thats her name) lives in London now... in fact she lives round the corner in Highbury and well...we got together. Oh Soph, I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am. Would you mind if Jen came to France with me for a bit. The first weekend? I really want you and Brad to meet her as I think you'll really like her. PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEE_

_Email back soon so we an look into getting the flights. _  
_Tils x_

Tilly sent the message and finished her lunch. She didn't have to wait long for a response, but it wasn't quiet what she had expected.

**From: Supersophie **

**To: Tilly_Evans1 **

**Date: 23 August 2013 13.15**

_Hey Tils,_

_Yeah your pretty much spot on with the itinerary... you left out the glass of chilled white wine at lunch and afternoon snooze. It's a hard life, but somebody has to do it. Seriously Tils, after working my arse off at Uni it's the least I deserve right ;) I mean we're not all gifted with your level of intelligence... some of us have to work hard to get good grades. My folks are heading back home tomorrow so I've invited my friend Ann-Sophie to come and keep me company. She's the sister of that French guy I had thing with a couple of years ago remember? Ditched him, but kept in touch with Ann as she's a scream. _

_OK Evans... Nice one on the books, the not working too hard and even getting drunk!...but are you sure you know what you are doing with this Jen? They do say you shouldn't go back!'_

_S x_

Tilly didn't get what Sophie's problem was. She had spent the last two years constantly trying to set Tilly up with people, and now here Tilly was telling her closest uni friend how happy she was, and she gets a shitty response back.

**From: Tilly_Evans1 **

**To:Supersophie **

**Date: 23 August 2013 13.25**

_Wow! Thanks Soph. Way to go on the enthusiasm there. And there I was thinking you'd be happy for me!_

Tilly was pissed off and after sending her short response she cleared up her lunch things and dropped them in a bin, as she had suddenly gone off her lunch so went back to work early.

A few hours later Tilly get a text message from Sophie

_'I'm sorry Tills. Of course Jen is welcome here. The more the merrier huh! I'm sure I'll love her when I meet her. See you both in a few days. Bring some suncream. It's boiling over here and wouldn't want your delicate English rose skin getting frazzled now! Love you. S x'_

__Tilly still didn't understand why Sophie had reacted in that way to her news, but she was happy to put it to the back of her mind as she texted Jen to tell her it was all OK re her joining the holiday and to book her flights. sunshine here we come!

When they landed at the airport they had that instant holiday feeling you get as you depart the plane and the warm heat hits your skin.

"Feeeeeeeeel that heat" Jen had exclaimed as they two of them walked down the steps of the plane and across the tarmac into the airport building to wait for their bags.

"I know! It's it amazing." Tilly had beamed back at Jen, reaching down to grab her hand and give it a squeeze.

Once they had got their bags they made their way to the exit to find at taxi only to spot a man standing by the gate with a sign with Tillys name on it. Sophie must have organised a car to pick them! Jen and Tilly walked over and introduced themselves to their driver Philippe who took their bags and walked them to their car. The drive to Sophies house took around 20 mins during which time the two of them sat in the back of the car, with the windows open taking the sights and smells of the countryside as the car whizzed along. Eventually they turned down a dirt track and headed towards a huge house with an amazing swimming pool to the side, where Tilly and Jen spotted Sophie waving at them from her sunlounger.

"Oh my god Tilly. This place is amazing" Jen had said with her mouth in as she took in the view, the size of the house and grounds.

"I know!" Tilly had responded, the two of them sat there looking around, both in shock at just how beautiful it was. "Come on.." Tilly had said grabbing Jens hand, "...lets go meet Sophie". They jumped out of the car and thanks Philippe who said he would take their bags up to their room.

"TILLLLLLLS" Sophie screamed as she ran over to meet the two of them as they walked towards the pool. Jen watched as the two friends hugged each other and screamed some more "It's SOOOOOO good to see you babes" Sophie had added as she gave Tilly a kiss on the cheek and another hug. "You too Soph." Tilly had responded "This place is fucking amazing!" Sophie laughed at her friends reaction to her parents house. Sophies parents had owned the house since she was young and so they always spent their summers here, but she stilled loved seeing other peoples reaction to the place.

"Soph..." Tilly had said excitedly as she turned to look at Jen "This... this is Jen. Jen.. Sophie"

Jen smiled at the blonde bronzed young woman standing in front of her in the tiniest of bikinis "Hi Sophie. Really lovely to meet you at last. I've heard SO much about you... and thanks for letting me joining Tilly for a couple a days". Sophie lent over and gave Jen a kiss on both cheeks and smiled back "No problem Jen. The more the merrier." turning back to look at Tilly she added, "although unfortunately the gorgeous Brad isn't joining us anymore"

"Oh no! Tilly groaned "Why not? Is everything OK"

"Long story Tills, he was getting a bit heavy over the summer with me. Constantly on Skype, texting... like we were something more than we actually were!" Sophie linked her arm through Tilly's and started walking towards the house before adding "I'll tell you all about it later on. You two must be boiling in those clothes! Why don't I show you up to your rooms"

"Rooms?" Tilly had questioned confused why Sophie hadn't put her and Jen in the same room. Tilly turned to look at Jen confused. Jen shrugged her shoulders.

"Just kidding Tills" Sophie laughed as she saw the disappointment on her friends face "although I must say..." Sophie added turning to look at Jen "I still can't believe you've given up your nun lifestyle! Jen... after the barren spell this one went through for the past two years... I hope she has been making up for lost time!"

"SOPHIE!" Tilly screamed as she playfully slapped her friend on the bottom. Tilly looked at Jen who had remained quiet and gave her a reassuring smile. Jen smiled weakly back at Tilly as she watched the two friends walk slightly ahead of her. Jen couldn't put her finger on it... but there was something she didn't particularly like about Sophie. She looked at the young blonde woman, with her perfect body, all over tan, long slim legs... looked around at her amazing house... looked at the way Tilly and her were around each other...and Jen felt a wave of jealous flood over her body. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all!


	22. Chapter 22

**So just a real short chapter tonight. If anyone reading this is French, or can speak French.. then I apologise in advance for a couple of sentences in this chapter. I used Google translator! **

When Jen was finally alone with Tilly she pulled into her arms for a kiss.

"Mmmmm" said Jen pulling away "I've been wanting to do that for the longest time". "Now, now Gilmore. There will be plenty of time for that later." Tilly said to the disappointment of Jen "there are two sun loungers out there with our names on!"

Jen laughed, relaxing a little bit. Tilly was right. They should be outside making the most of the glorious weather.

"I can't help it that I find my girlfriend so incredibly sexy?" Jen teased.  
Tilly laughed as she started unpacking "no. No I guess you are right!" Laughing she turned to face Jen and held up two bikinis "which one makes me look the sexiest?" As she held then in front of her body and posed in a model way.

"Well personally I'm a great believer of the ALL OVER tan...so neither!" Jen smiled at Tilly and playfully bit her bottom lip.  
"Hmmmmm well as fun as that sounds, I have no intention of going naked in front of Sophie or her friend Ann."

The words reassured Jen who added "yes. You are quite right. What's under that bikini is for my eyes only!"  
"Of course babe" Tilly replied with a smile that melted Jens heart.  
"Now come on gorgeous, lets get ready so I can run some suncream into the sexy body of yours". Tilly walked over and planted her lips on Jens.  
"Now that's an invitation I can't refuse. But can I get another quick kiss before we go?"

Jen looked at Tilly with her big brown puppy dog eyes, and Tilly smiled as she pulled Jen into her arms and gave her a kiss, as she did so she felt the wave of desire start to flood through her. Jen wasn't going to settle for just a kiss... And to be honest Tilly wanted more herself, so she didn't fight it when Jen started walking them towards the bed and Tilly felt Jens hand reach under her top and tweak her nipple. breaking away from Jens lips Tilly looked Jea in the eyes, smiling "OK Gilmore.. You've got 10 minutes... So you'd better be quick!" Jen smiled back at Tilly and whispered in her ear "I only need five!" As she lifted Tilly's dress and pulled down her pants.

As the two of them walked down to the pool 10 minutes later, both of them flush from their orgasms, they saw another girl had arrived at the house and was talking to Sophie. The two of them assumed this was Ann-Sophie.  
"Hey" Sophie said as they reached the sunloungers. "All settled?" She asked. "I was starting to get worried abouoh you both!"  
"Yes thanks." Jen responded brightly. "we errr we were unpacking and umm taking in the amazing view" she felt Tilly squeeze her hand in recognition of the lie she had just told. they had just had fast and furious sex, and Jen was still tingling all over from it. Jen had convinced herself to start again with Sophie. Not only was staying at her house for the next couple of days, she was also Tilly's flatmate, and so they would no doubt be seeing a lot of each other. Jen needed to make more of an effort for Tilly's sake to like Sophie.

"Ann-Sophie" Sophie said turning to address the tall, skinny, bronzed bikini clad woman sipping from a glass of iced tea "this is Tilly and Jen"  
"Bonjour" Ann-Sophie had chirped to Jen and Tilly as she kissed both their cheeks in a very French way.

Turning to face Sophie she said: "c'est donc la fille que vous aimez ?" Jen watched like a hawk as the dark head nodded towards Tilly. "elle est magnifique!"

Ignoring the comment Sophie grabbed Jen and Tilly by the hands and pulled towards a table which had been laid out with drinks.  
"So you two lovers, what can I get you to drink?" As she poured herself a large glass of wine and did the same for Jen and Tilly. As she did so, she replied to Ann-Sophie  
"oui. oui il est."  
"il m'a fallu deux ans pour réaliser"

As Jen heard the words leave Sophie's lips she felt the colour drain from her cheeks, felt her legs give way slightly. For it was clear to Jen that Sophie didnt realise that as part of her art degree Jen had spent a year in Paris, during which time she had learnt the language. Sure she was a little bit rusty, but she had TOTALLY understand what had just been said.  
Taking a large gulp of her wine, Jen assessed the 'secret' conversation she had just heard

So this is the girl you like? She is beautiful.  
Yes. Yes she is. It took me two years to realise!


	23. Chapter 23

**Really sorry for the delay in posting this chapter.**

Jen was still shaking from Sophie's words. Her gut reaction was to turn round and tell her in French to keep her fucking hands off Tilly.  
Upon reflection Jen knew this would have been a bad move. She was after all staying at Sophie's house and so needed to try and keep calm and pretend that all was ok whilst she worked through her options.

As Jen sat down on her sunlounger next to Tilly, pretending that all was ok, she thought back to the photo of Sophie and Tilly she had looked at in Tilly's flat. Sophie might not have realised she had feelings towards Tilly until now, but Jen had seen something in the way the blonde was staring at Tilly. Fuck. This was not good. They'd just found each other again and the gorgeous, intelligent, rich, younger flatmate decides NOW that she has feelings for Tilly.

Jen took another swig of wine and looked over at Tilly who was rubbing suncream into her legs. Jen decided that Sophie didn't look like the type to go quietly, and there was no way Jen was going to give Tilly up with out a fight. And so Operation Jelly was forming in Jens mind. The fight was ON! Jen thought as she stood up and walked over to Tilly and said in a extra loud voice so that Sophie heard "Hey! That's my job" taking the suncream bottle off Tilly and smiling a sexy smile. Tilly smiled back and bite her bottom lip in that sexy way that Jen loved. Jen squeezed some suncream into her hands "front or back first?" Jen asked.

"Mmmm back first I think" Tilly replied rolling onto her front. She let out a little scream as the cold cream hit her warm skin. Jen laughed "that's my Tilly. So brave"  
"It's really cold!" Tilly respond, laughing at the same time.  
Jen rubbed the cream into Tilly's perfect skin. She was deliberately sensual as she did this... Her hand, fingers gently running all over Tilly's back, down her sides, down the back of her legs, up to her perfectly formed bottom. Occasionally Tilly had let out a small groan of pleasure, indicating that the extra special touch was being appreciated.

It was when Tilly turned onto her back, that Jen realised just how much! Jen could clearly see Tilly's erect nipples underneath her bikini. She looked up at Tilly and saw the look of desire on her face and leant and placed a slow gently kiss on Tilly's juicy lips. Out of the corner of her eye Jen could see Sophie looking over at them.  
Jen broke away from the kiss and added " sorry! I forgot we were with company!" Smiling over at Sophie and Ann. Jen leant into Tilly and whispered "You are so fucking sexy...and right now, I am thinking VERY dirty thoughts about what I would like to do to you!" Jen held Tilly's gaze and saw Tilly blush slightly. Tilly leant in and gave Jen a kiss, her tongue exploring Jens mouth, clearly turned on and not bothered about being around other people.

Sophie on the other hand had had enough. She was still coming to terms with these new feelings towards Tilly and trying to make sense of it all. All she knew was she had missed Tilly way too much this summer, more than she should of as a friend. And when she had read Tilly's message about being back with Jen, Sophie had felt jealousy and sadness that it wasn't her. When she had confessed her feelings to Ann Sophie later that day, her friend had shrugged it off as her being worried about the possibility of losing a good friend and nothing more, and so Sophie had replied to Tilly and invited Jen to join them on their holiday. Later that same night as Sophie lay in bed, she reflected back over the two years they had been friends, and Sophie knew that something had changed in the way she felt about Tilly. It was more than just friends. Sophie had realised that she wanted to be more than just Tilly's friend. Wanted things to go a step further. It took Tilly's email for her to realise this.

Watching Tilly with this stranger was really hard for her, especially in her house. As she looked over and watched the two of them start making out on the sun lounger, Sophie decided Enough was enough. "Tills! Do you mind? You are making me feel sick!" It was a bit harsh, but she didn't care.

Tilly broke away from Jens kiss and looked over at Sophie, hurt from her remark "Errr I'm sorry. But when exactly did you turn into such a prude?"

"I'm not a prude Tills, far from it as you well know. It's just well... It's a bit in our faces you know."

Jen realised she had won this round of the battle and decided to step in and defuse the situation. "Sophie's right sweet. She said squeezing Tilly's hand. We must try and control ourselves a bit better. Sorry." She said looking over in Sophie and Ann-Sophie's direction.. "Must be the sun!" She added smiling. "How about a dip in the pool to cool off" She asked Tilly.

Tilly still seething a little from Sophie over the top reaction, nodded at the suggestion and in order to make the peace suggested the four of them went in the pool.

After a few hours the four girls were feeling the effects of the wine and sunshine and Sophie suggested a small siesta before dinner. Jen and Tilly used the their time to have a shower together which helped satisfy the longing they had been feeling between their legs all afternoon. As Jen slid her fingers into Tilly and Tilly had let out a loud groan Jen had smiled hearing the noise coming from the red head, deep down she hoped Sophie had heard it to.


	24. Chapter 24

Jen woke up from a deep sleep and found herself in the bed alone, with Tilly no where to be found. After their shower they had climbed into bed and had both fallen asleep quickly, exhausted from their antics in the shower.

Jen looked at her watch and saw she had been asleep for over an hour and that it was now nearly 7pm. Pulling on some clothes Jen made her way down the stairs and headed towards the direction of the voices she could hear coming from the kitchen.

As she opened the door she saw Tilly and Sophie sat alone at the kitchen table, huddled over Sophie's laptop laughing at something on the screen.

The two of them looked up as the door opened and Tilly smiled at Jen before adding "hey babe. Sorry did we wake you up with our shrieking?"  
"No. No. Not at all." Jen replied "I ummm didn't realise I had slept for so long!"  
"That's ok sweet. We were just reminiscing over some old photos from our first year."  
"Oh that sounds fun. May I see?"  
Sophie responded quickly as she saw Jen start to head towards them snapping shut the lid of her laptop,,adding "Oh sorry Jen... I've just just shut it down. You probably would have found it a bit boring to be honest...Not knowing anyone in the photos and all that"  
"Besides.." Sophie added "you probably needed the extra time in bed right?"

"Ummm I'm not sure I know what you mean?" Jen replied suspiciously.  
Sophie's mouth smirked slightly as she added " oh I just meant you being a bit older and all that. How old are you exactly? Tilly never said... 30?"  
"Sophie!" Tilly Giving driving friend a stern stare. "Don't be so bloody rude!"

Tilly walked over to where Jen was standing and took her hand in hers, pulling her over to the kitchen table to sit down. "Jen is only five years older than me, so she's 25. Not 30! so say sorry." Jen felt Tilly squeeze her hand, but Jen wasn't offended by Sophie, she knew exactly what she was doing, and was already thinking of her next move.

She laughed and lent in a placed a kiss on Tilly's cheek. "It's OK Tills." turning to talk directly at Sophie "I am obviously older than you both, but with age..." And now she turned back to face Tilly and gave her a knowing looking "...comes experience. And sometimes... Well experience can make SUCH a difference!" Jen winked at Tilly.

"Besides... How can I be cross with Sophie when it was her that essentially put us back together again?" Turning to face Sophie, Jen smiled before adding "did Tilly explain that we found each other on that dating website you made Tilly join. If you hadn't made her log on that night, we probably wouldn't have met up again and I wouldn't be here now" Jen gave Sophie a beaming smile whilst internally she was sticking two fingers up at the blonde. TAKE THAT GOLDIE LOCKS

Jen could see the anger on Sophie's face, but she quickly regained her composure, responding with a halfhearted "well isn't that sweet" before changing the subject.

"So we thought we'd walk into the village and go for some food there. Ann-Sophie is meeting us at this cute little bar at 8. Does that sound OK Tills?"

"Sounds great." Tilly responded completely unaware of the exchange that had just taken place. "We'd better get ready". The three of them left the kitchen and Tilly and Jen and headed back to their rooms to get changed.

Once alone, Tilly notice that Jen was a bit withdrawn and not really speaking. "Jen are you OK?

Jen smiled weakly at Tilly in an attempt to show that she was OK. "I'm fine"  
"Liar"  
Jen laughed "it's OK... I mean I'm OK...I just... well, I'm not sure if Sophie is totally happy with me being here."  
"You're probably right there"  
Jen turned to look at Tilly shocked at her response. Did Tilly know that Sophie had feelings for her?  
"Errrr has she said something to you then?"  
Tilly looked back at Jen and shook her head. "No! No... of course not. I just meant that, well Sophie is used to getting what she wants. She's not very good at sharing... that includes sharing her friends"

Tilly looked at Jen. She was a little surprised that Jen was clearly bothered by the couple of comments Sophie had made since they had arrived. Tilly had noticed them, but shrugged them off as Sophie just being Sophie. She had also assumed that Jen, who was normally so sure of herself, wouldn't have even been bothered by the comments, but she was wrong. Jen was bothered.

Tilly was clearly attracted to confident women in her life, Maddie, Sophie and ...usually Jen. When Tilly had visualised Jen and Sophie meeting for the first time in her mind, she had expected there to be a bit of testing, of pushing, as the two of them checked out the 'competition' so to speak. Tilly appreciated it would be harder for Jen as they were meeting on Sophie's 'turf', but Tilly knew Jen could handle herself and give as good as she got.

Tilly walked over to Jen and looped her arms around Jens waist.  
"She's just testing you babe. It's what she does. I said she reminds me of Maddie, and do you see what I mean?"  
Jen nodded " Yeah.. you are not wrong there" Jen shook her head. "It's cool. I mean I'm sure it all be fine" she lent in a planted a quick kiss on Tillys lips before walking over to her suitcase to pull out a top to change into.

"Maybe I should, you know give you guys a bit of space tomorrow" She turned to look at Tillys reaction. "Maybe that will make her happier. I mean she has probably really missed you and been looking forward to catching up with her friend and then I turn up on your arm!" Jen could see that Tilly was thinking through the idea. Jen hated the thought of leaving Tilly with Sophie, it wasn't that she didn't trust Tilly, she did 100%, it was Sophie she didn't trust!

"Ohhh but we've only got a couple of days together, and I mean what will you do?"  
" I'll be fine Tils. I might borrow a bike I saw they had and head off with my sketch pad for a couple of hours... you know, just enough time for Sophie to feel she has her friend to.." Jen hated saying the word "... herself!"

Tilly replied still thinking it through "Promise you wont go all day! God, I wish I could come with you, we could spend the whole day alone together...but maybe you are right. It might make her chill out a bit" Tilly walked over to Jen and pulled her in for an embrace.

"what was that for?" Jen asked smiling back at Tilly "Not that I'm complaining of course!"  
"Just that I really appreciate you making the effort with Sophie. It's important to me that the two of you get on, and I know she can put up a front to start with... but that's all it is really.. a front. Deep down she just like us all with insecurities and needs"

NEEDS! Jen repeated the word in her head... yeah she had needs OK, and that was what worried Jen. Jen kissed Tilly back and whispered "I love you so much".  
Tilly smiled back at Jen, into those big dark brown eyes, like melting pots of chocolate. "I Love you too".

They got dressed and soon the three of them were walking down the country road on the short journey into town for a night out. Jen was worried about the situation, but decided she needed to chill out. Tilly had said she loved her. Jen had to trust that Tilly's love for HER was greater than any feelings she may have.. even if she had realised she had them yet.. for Sophie.


	25. Chapter 25

**Sorry for the delay in posting the new chapter. I struggled a bit this chapter. Didn't know the best way for Tilly to find out about Sophie's feelings. Via Jen or Sophie. Anyway... I hope you like it... I wonder what Tilly will do?**

As jen went up to the bar to order some wine she turned to look back at the two friends. Jen had to admit that Sophie looked gorgeous with her all over tan bringing out the best of her blonde hair and blue eyes. The tiny shorts she was wearing seemed to make her legs even longer. She certainly knew her best features and how to show them off at their best.

In comparison Jen looked down at her outfit and instantly felt frumpy. Fuck! What was this girl doing to her. Jen had never really conformed, she had always worn clothes that she liked, rather than what was in season or 'on trend'. She had always felt comfortable with her look and in her own body. Sure she maybe wasn't a size 8 like Sophie, and even Tilly who had a stomach like a washboard. Jen had always been a bit more curvy, and in the past she had never had problems attracting attention. But now... Now as she looked over at Sophie and Tilly, Jen felt insecurities about her look. What if Tilly actually preferred blondes? Tall, skinny tanned blondes! Jen felt sick at the thought. The thought of losing Tilly to Sophie.

The arrival of Ann-Sophie next to her at the restaurant snapped Jen out of her thoughts.

"Bonjour Jennifer. May I help?"

"Oh hey Ann-Sophie" Jen replied leaning in to give the woman a peck on both cheeks.

"Yeah that would be great. Thank you... Merci" Ann smiled back at Jen before nodding over to the table where Sophie and Tilly were sitting busy chatting away "I think they have much catching up to do".

"Yes. Yes I'm sure they do."

Jen order some wine and the two of them walked over to join Sophie and Tilly. As Jen sat down next to Tilly she felt slightly reassured when Tilly leant over and place a hand on her knee where it remained as the four of them discuss the menu and what they were going to eat.

As the evening went on the four of them drank and ate until they were all stuffed and made the slow journey home. Tilly linked arms with Jen and the two of them walked behind Sophie and Ann who were deep in conversation in French. Jen was desperately trying to listen in on what they were saying, but she could only pick up the odd words ...Plan of action. Sexy, killing me and love. Jen wished she had been able to hear it all, to know what Sophie was planning.

When they got back to the house Jen didn't feel like staying up for anymore drinks and said her good nights before heading up to bed. Tilly came up 10 mins later to check up on her.

"Is everything OK sweet?"

"Yeah it's fine.i'm just really tired all of a sudden." Jen smiled before adding "must be my age right!"

Tilly laughed "oh yeah... What with you being 40 and all!"

"40!" Jen responded. "Jeez, it's getting worse!"

Tilly walked over to where Jen was standing slowly getting undressed and placed her arms around her gorgeous girlfriends body, pleased that Jen seemed a bit more relaxed.

Tilly gave Jen a hug and added "yeah well, just so you know I love you whatever the age difference." Tilly

Looked into Jens eyes "in fact I LOVE the fact you are older...that I'm your toygirl"

Jen laughed "toygirl? Ha. I like it" she leant in and planted a kiss on Tilly's lips "well I'm pleased you don't mind the age gap."

"Not at all" Tilly replied cheekily "I like to do my bit for help the aged. Now shall I tuck you into bed Granny Jen?" Jen slapped Tilly on the bottom in response to the teasing "you are SO cheeky Tilly Evans"

"I know!" Tilly gave Jens bum a quick squeeze "and you wouldn't have it any other way right?"

"Hmmm probably not" Jen looked at the redhead wrapped in her arms and whispered "well seeing as you offered... You could maybe help me unhook my bra..at my age I sometimes struggle to reach round you see." Jen smiled in a seductive way.

"Mmmm oh do you now?" Tilly smiled back at Jens playful suggestion. "Now as much as I would love to help you get undressed, I did promise I'd stay up for another drink, and if start taking your clothes off, we both know what that will lead to."

Jen stuck out her bottom lip in a pretend sulk "OK I guess I'll have to struggle along by myself" pretending to bend over and walk like an old person across the room. Tilly laughed " you sure I can't tempt you back downstairs for another drink?"  
"Nah I'm good thanks. Gonna read for a bit in bed I think. You go though"  
"OK. I'll see you in a bit. Sleep well." Tilly planted a kiss on Jens lips and left the room to make her way downstairs.

When Tilly found Sophie she was sitting outside, alone.  
"Where's Ann-Sophie?" Tilly asked.  
"Oh she said she was tired and so has crashed out in one of the spare rooms. Looks like its just the two of us." Sophie handed Tilly a glass of red wine.  
"It's such a nice evening I thought we could sit outside and look at the amazing sky and stars."  
Sophie patted to the empty space next to her on some cushions she had put on the ground and Tilly kicked off her shoes and sat down next to her friend.

Looking up into the pitch black sky above Tilly wondered if she had ever seen so many stars before in her life. It was inspiring. "It's so beautiful" Tilly exclaimed.  
"Yeah... Yeah it is isn't it" Sophie turned to look at Tilly and took a deep breath.  
"I'm so happy you're here Tils"  
"Yeah me too. Thanks so much for inviting me... And Jen" Tilly noticed the change in Sophie's face at the mention of Jens name. Tilly decided to be blunt "You don't like her do you?"  
"Why do you say that?" Sophie responded, playing for time as she thought through her possible answers.  
LIE - and say yes I do she is really lovely and I'm really happy for you as you seem totally in love. OR  
TELL THE TRUTH - well the thing is Tilly, the reason why I don't like Jen is because I'm jealous as fuck. Because I've realised that I like you. That I have feelings for you and it's killing me watching you with her.  
"Soph - I don't understand why you don't like her."  
"Tills it's not so much about her... I mean ... It could be anyone really... I don't even know her... It's just... Well ..." Sophie paused and took a gulp of wine. "The reason why Brad isn't here is because I told him not to come." Tilly looked over at her friend confused as to why she would do that.  
"I told him not to come because... Because I had feelings for ...someone else"  
"REALLY? Who? You kept that quiet. Who is he? Have you been having a summer romance with one of the local boys who has probably fallen madly in love with you and you will only break his heart when you leave in a few weeks time" Sophie looked at her friend and realised she didn't have a clue. But then why would she? Sophie had been pretty shocked herself when she had experienced these feelings for Tilly. Trying to work out what it all meant. What she wanted to happen.  
Taking a deep breath, Sophie looked Tilly in the eyes and took the plunge "Tilly don't get freaked out now OK, but it's... It's not a local boy. "Tilly interrupted "oh my god... Is it an older guy! Are you having a secret affair with a married man!" Tilly asked excitedly  
Sophie shook her head. "No Tills. No married man. No local boy...in fact...it's a girl"  
Tilly's mouth dropped out in shock. "WHAT? You ... And a girl... No fucking way!"  
"Way Tills" Sophie responded dead serious.  
"Oh god... It's Ann isn't it?" Tilly exclaimed  
Sophie shook her head again "no Tills it's not Ann-Sophie" Sophie paused again and looked at her friend in the eyes and swallowed hard "it's... It's YOU. I...think...I'm in love you TILLY!"


	26. Chapter 26

Tilly looked at Sophie. Did she really just say that? Did Sophie really just say she loved her? Tilly was in shock. She had no idea Sophie thought of her in this way. Her mind was racing. "Tills." Sophie finally broke the silence "say something... Please!" Tilly looked at Sophie. "I... I...god Sophie" Tilly stood up and started pacing around. "Is this some fucking joke?" Tilly asked her friend, confused about why she was doing this to her. "Sophie ... what are you doing? I mean... Why are you saying this? What the fuck are you playing at?" Sophie watched in horror at her friends initial reaction to what she had just said. This was not the reaction she wanted.

Sophie stood up and reached out to grab Tilly's hand who was still pacing up and down "Tilly...I..."  
"What? Sophie? You... You what" Tilly said pulling her hand away. "I don't understand what's happening here. Is this a fucking joke to you?" Tilly looked at Sophie angrily.

Sophie had tears in her eyes as she reached out once again for Tilly's hand.  
"Tilly PLEASE! Please just listen." Sophie couldn't hold back the tears that had formed in her eyes.  
"Listen to what exactly Sophie?" Tilly stared at her friend trying once again to figure what the hell she was playing at. "I with Jen Sophie! I ... I don't understand why you would say that?"  
Sophie wiped the tears for her cheeks " I know you are with her! That's ...that's what..."

"That's what Sophie?" Jen snapped back "that's what made you realise you LOVE ME!" Tilly let out a sarcastic laugh "for fucks sake Sophie. Don't be so bloody stupid!" Tilly looked at her friend in disbelief "you don't LOVE me... You are just jealous. Jealous that I've found someone."  
"No Tilly. It's not that. I promise. I... Please let me explain".

Tilly shook her head "Soph... There is nothing to explain OK. This is stupid. This is so fucking stupid. I'm going to go to bed now. I... I'm going to go to bed and it the morning we are going to forget all about this OK. We are going to wake up and forget ALL about this OK? OK?" Tilly raised her voice.

Sophie was crying, shaking her head ... "No Tilly. Tilly listen to me... I... I love you. You have to believe me. I... I just didn't realise.. I didn't realise my feelings for you until you told me about Jen. Seeing you with her... Seeing her kiss you... I... I love you Tilly. You might not want to hear it... But believe me... You have to believe me when I tell you this is not so joke. Why would I do that to you? Why would I joke about something SO important" Tilly turned to look at Sophie

"Stop it. Just... STOP IT Sophie!" Tilly turned her back on Sophie and started walking away.  
"Tilly". Sophie cried out "Tilly wait... PLEASE" Tilly stopped, but didn't turn round.

"Does what I've just said mean NOTHING to you?"

Tilly stopped walking and stopped and stood there for a moment not speaking. Just thinking. What did IT mean? Was it true? Did Sophie REALLY love her? Really have feelings for her? Tilly realised she was shaking. She turned round and looked at her friend who was standing there, looking at Tilly. Tilly had never seen Sophie like this before. She was normally so in control. Tilly had NEVER seem Sophie be this upset over a boy. Maybe .. Maybe it was true. Maybe Sophie ACTUALLY did love her. Tilly was so confused. How could this of happened?

"I... I don't know what this means. I... I don't understand." Tilly said softly.

"Tilly... What is there to understand? I love you"

"Stop saying that please!" Tilly pleaded.

"Why? Why should I?"

"Because it's not true!" Tilly walked towards her friend determined to put an end to this stupid situation. "Listen Sophie. You...you've had too much to drink... You don't know what you are saying... You.."

"No Tilly. You are wrong. You might not want to believe it... But it doesn't change the doesn't make me feel differently towards you."

"For fucks sake Sophie. I don't want to hear it OK." Tilly snapped "I'm with Jen. You have just got your feelings muddled up and tomorrow you are going to wake up and be feeling REALLY stupid about this"

Sophie shook her head "no Tilly. No I won't." And then she leant in a pressed her lips against Tilly's lips.

Tilly was taken aback by Sophie's action, but quickly pushed her away.

"Sophie what are you doing?" Shocked that her friend her just kissed her.

"What do you think I'm doing?" As she tried to lean in for another kiss, but Tilly put her hand against Sophie's shoulder to stop her getting any nearer.

"Sophie... I... I love Jen OK!" And Tilly turned and started walking towards the house. Up the stairs and towards the bedroom when Jen was lying in bed fast asleep.

As Tilly walked up the stairs she felt tears start to form in her eyes. She couldn't believe what had just happened. What her friend had just said, just done. Her heart was pounding. Tilly was so confused, she loved Jen with all her heart...but...but she couldn't deny hearing Sophie say she loved her had given her reasons to question this love. To question if they were both right to be giving it another go. If they were right for each other?


	27. Chapter 27

**True love for Jen and Tilly has never been smooth. What would you do if your best friend turned round and said they loved you? **

**Thanks as always for the reviews. I caught the Esther Tilly kiss the other day, and whilst I thought it was 'sweet', it doesn't compare at all with Jen and Tilly's first kiss. There is no chemistry at all. So wrong! **

When Tilly reached the bedroom door she hesitated slightly, her hand resting on the handle, but not actually turning it.

Tilly closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Why was life so unbelievably complicated and fucked up sometimes? Just when Tilly had thought things were finally going her way, finally working out the way she had wanted, the way she had hoped they would for the past two years... This happens. Her best friend... Classmate...flatmate no less... Declares her love for her. WTF!

When Tilly had first met Sophie, that night back in the Halls when they had shared a cup of tea, she had instantly been drawn to her. Tilly had seen Sophie around campus the day before, noticing how she walked around Uni which such confidence, she was impossible to ignore. After that night when they had met in the kitchen, Sophie had fallen in love Tilly's sense of humour and intelligence. They quickly formed a tight friendship and an understanding between the two of them. They had code words for their fellow classmates and lecturers, they shared a love of Greys Anatomy and Skippy Peanut Butter on a toasted sesame seed bagel. They loved Florence and the Machine and swapped clothes and shoes depending on their mood. Sophie enjoy the vintage vibe Tilly loved, in return Tilly felt super grown up walking around campus with one of Sophies designer handbags!

During the first year Tilly had spent many a night in the SU bar watching Sophie tease the guys who tried to chat her up. The few that she did 'allow past' were given her email address and told to think up something exciting to do on a date, and send her the details. They were told she would reply if she liked what they were proposing. If she didnt... Well that was the end of that! Tilly had been amazed that she got away with it, and it had almost turned into a bit of a competition to see who would come up with the most imaginative idea.

Tilly's favorite had been the guy who had suggest a trip to movies... but with a difference. He posted a photo of a little home made roof top cinema on his flat, complete with fairy lights, popcorn, bean bags, rugs and champagne. He had even done his research and asked Tilly what Sophie's favourite film was. Tilly had thought it was so sweet and thoughful. Sophie however had thought it was childish and so had never responded. By comparison Sophies favorite was the guy who had suggested a day trip on the Eurostar to Paris ... First class of course!

Sophie insisted she never slept with them until at least date 5, and was a great believer in 'treating them mean, to keep them keen' . As an bystander, Tilly watched it all by relieved that she wasn't caught up in such silly games. Tilly had decided to focus on her studies, Sophie couldn't understand why Tilly wasn't making the most of 'gay london' and was always trying to set her up. In the two years since she had started at Uni Tilly had kissed four girls and one drunken night had bad sex with a girl called Jess from the hockey team, who secretly reminded Tilly of Jen.

When Tilly had 'found' Jen again this summer she had felt SO happy. So happy to be with Jen again, to be kissing Jen, touching Jen. Tilly had felt alive again. In Tilly's mind there had never been any doubt that they weren't supposed to be together. Jen had been her first love, and Tilly had hated the way things had ended between her and Jen. There had been way too much good for it not to have meant something big to them both. It was just their circumstances that had caused them problems, made it all too complicated and difficult.

The past few weeks had been amazing. They had had such fun. Reconnecting. Making up for lost time. Tilly loved the fact that Jen couldn't get enough of her, that the two of them were like teenagers making out for the first time. Their sex was at times fast and furious, sometimes it lasted hours. They had slipped into a easy routine and Tilly loved the feeling of being 'in a relationship'. She remembered the email she got back from Sophie when she had told her the news and how it now made perfect sense. If Sophie really DID love as she claimed, then it made sense that she reacted the way she did.

Tilly really couldn't believe it. The gorgeous, totally sexy and lusted after Sophie Dixon fancied her. Not just fancied her... Was in LOVE with her. It was too much to take in. Her mind was spinning. Behind the door Tilly pictured Jen fast asleep. Pictured her lying beneath the white cotton sheets, her hair super shinny, her lips slightly parted she she breathed in and out,  
In and out. Tilly lived watching Jen sleep. She always looked so peaceful and beautiful.

Tilly looked down at her hand on the door handle. Why was she pausing? What was stopping Tilly walking into the room, climbing into bed, climbing into bed next to her girlfriend and wrapping Jen in her arms. Why was it so hard to open the door. Tilly's heart was pounding as she lifted her hand off the door handle and took two steps backwards. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before she turned and started walking away from the bedroom. Tilly tried to control her breathing as she walked down the stairs, walked out the door and back over to where Sophie was still sitting on the cushions.

Sophie looked up as she heard someone approaching. She wiped the tears away and slowly stood up as she saw Tilly. saw that she had come back. But what for? to have another go at Sophie? to say she was leaving?

Tilly had reacted so angrily, had refused to listen to Sophie. Refused to believe how Sophie felt about her, how her feelings had developed beyond just friendship. How Tilly had come to be so important to her. How Sophie had found herself thinking about Tilly in a sexual way. How she had reacted to the news that Tilly was with someone... Was with Jen. How she had felt sick at the thought of Tilly being with someone after all this time. It had made Sophie wake up and realise how she felt about Tilly.

Sophie's throat was tight with anticipation, and she struggled to swallow as Tilly approached nearer. "Tilly ...I .."

Upstairs Jen had woken at the sound of footsteps outside the bedroom door and seeing that Tilly wasn't yet in bed she had got up to look out the door to see who it was. Just as she walked past the window she saw Sophie rise from the ground where she had been sitting and turned to face the house, towards the figure approaching her. Jen watched in horror as the figure turned out to be Tilly who walked up to Sophie and and kissed her.


	28. Chapter 28

**Thanks for all the reviews. I've really enjoyed reading them. **

**There are lots of fanfiction stories on Jelly where they think the other one has cheated on the other, misunderstandings and all that, so I guess I went a bit off the 'jelly love story' by having Tilly kiss Sophie, but it's been fun to write. I hope these twists are keeping the story interesting, but believable at the same time. I mean it does happen.. Sometimes you don't know what you have until it's gone. I think Sophie and Tilly having feelings for each other is another test of the strength of Jelly! **

**Anyway, let me know what you think of this chapter x **

Jen stepped back from the window and reached out for something to steady her. Her legs had turned to Jelly. She took a deep breath trying to compose herself, trying to stop the feeling of nausea that was rising within her.

All her worst fears had come true. Sophie had obviously told Tilly how she felt, and Tilly clearly felt the same. Jen felt crushed. Angry and crushed. Angry that she had ignored her initial feelings about Sophie, angry that she hadn't spoken to her or mentioned it to Tilly. Angry that Tilly had kissed someone else. angry that tilly would do that behind her back. Crushed that Tilly didn't love her as much as she had thought, didn't love her as much as she loved her.

Tilly stepped back from the embrace as the realisation of what she was doing hit home.

She looked at Sophie in horror as she realised this wasn't what she wanted.  
"Sophie... I...I... That shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry... But I...It was a mistake OK?" Tilly stared at Sophie who was stood looking at Tilly.  
Tilly started rambling again "I... I don't know what came over me." Finally breaking her stare, Tilly looked down at her hands before adding "I..I love Jen OK?" Looking up at Sophie who now had tears forming in her eyes, "Soph... I'm sorry OK, I care about you loads.. and I DO love you...just not the same way I love jen"  
Sophie finally spoke "then why the fuck did you just kiss me then Tilly?"  
Silence  
"If you love Jen so bloody much, then why did you come back down here, walk right up to me and kiss me? Admit it Tills, you have feelings for me too. I know you do!" Sophie was angry and wanted answers. The problem was Tilly didn't have any!  
"The truth is I... I don't know why i came back, I mean I know why I kissed you... Because, well who wouldn't want to? You're gorgeous Sophie...but.."  
"But what Tills?" Sophie spat back.  
"But I'm with Jen. I love Jen." Tilly whispered.

Looking Sophie in the eyes Tilly could see how much she had hurt her friend. Tilly hadn't known whether to believe Sophie's feelings to be real, or put them down to jealousy, but she could tell by Sophie's reaction that she was genuinely upset, that it wasn't just because she wasn't getting what she wanted as it usually was.

"Fuck! This is such a mess!" Tilly paused "Sophie... I am like totally astounded that you have feelings for me... I mean I never in million years would have thought that you would ever see me more than just a friend." Tilly paused and reached down to grab Sophie's hand and tugged it so that Sophie looked up from the floor where she had been staring, and looked at Tilly.  
Laughing slightly Tilly continued "I mean...I didn't even have to come up with a first date proposal!"  
Sophie calming her tears, managed a small smile.

"Sophie... It's not an excuse for kissing you, but I.. I think I probably had a bit too much to drink tonight and I.. I was flattered that THE Sophie Dixon said she loved me." Now it was Tilly's turn to look away "the truth is... It did throw me... Make me question my feelings for you... If they go more than just friendship... and maybe.. Maybe if I were single then we could give it a go." Tilly paused and looked up "but I'm not single. I'm with Jen and I fucked up. I need you to know that it's nothing against you.. Soph, you are amazing.. You don't need me to tell you that.. It's just that.. Well I love Jen. I want to be with Jen.. I just forgot that for a moment."

Tilly was now fighting back the tears as she realised just how big a mess this was. She could lose Jen over this.. Jen AND Sophie!  
"Sophie ...I.. I don't want to lose you as a friend over this. I would HATE that. Please understand that I, I can't change how I feel about Jen. I can't just like that not love her and love you instead. Do you.. Do you understand?" Tilly looked hopefully at Sophie, the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Sophie took a step nearer to Tilly and lifted her hand up to Tilly's cheek and gently wiped away a tear. Sophie kept her hand on Tillys cheek and Tilly closed her eyes and sighed. Tilly knew how easy it would be to just go with the flo, to acknowledge that she fancied Sophie, that she had always had a crush on her. How easy it would be to act on the confused feelings she had. if this had happened five weeks earlier, before Jen had come back into Tilly's life, then everything would be different. But it hadn't. It was happening now, and Jen was very much back in Tilly's life... Was in fact sleeping just a few hundred metres away from where they stood.

After what seemed like minutes of standing there, Sophie's fingers gently running over the outline of Tilly's lips, Sophie removed her hand, cleared her throat and took a step back. Tilly opened her eyes again and looked at her friend as she hastily wipped the back of her arm over her tear sodden cheeks.  
"OK Tills. I get it. I get you love Jen." Tilly watched as before her eyes Sophie morphed into her usual persona. "I mean... I don't for one minute get what she has that I don't!" Sophie let out a fake laugh before adding "but clearly you like the golden oldies"  
Tilly was about to interrupt Sophie and tell her to stop going on like that about Jens age, but Tilly realised that this was what Sophie needed to do. This was her putting up her fences. She had been turned down, possibly for the first time ever, and now Sophie's self-preservation mechanisms were kicking in. Tilly knew she had to just take what was coming her way.  
"Besides" Sophie continued "that kiss... Well to be honest Tills... It didn't really do anything for me." Tilly let out a small laugh "yeah right Dixon." Hoping to lighten the mood "that was probably the best kiss you have ever had in your LIFE!"  
"In your dreams Evans!" Sophie responded  
"We both know that I'm right. I mean come on kissing girls is a much nicer experience than kissing a boy, with their rough stubble "  
"Errr who said you don't have stubble!" Sophie responded quickly, rubbing her chin to imply that Tilly had a beard.  
"You cheeky bitch" Tilly laughed back. "Well if we're being really honest then... I have to tell you Soph that you have clearly eaten WAY too much garlic since you've been here because your breath stank!"  
Sophie's mouth opened in horror at Tilly's comment, but quickly turned into a smile when she saw Tilly wink at her in jest.  
"Cow!"  
"Bitch!"  
"Hairy cow"  
"Smelly breath bitch!"  
The two friends paused for a moment considering whether to continue with the insults, but instead they both burst out laughing.

Tilly gave her a friend a look and saw that she was hurting inside, but that she was putting on an act. As if she had read her mind Sophie stopped laughing and went serious again. "Tills, you know this hasn't changed how I feel about you?"  
Tilly looked her friend in the eyes and nodded.  
"I mean, I get you dont love me back and I'm totally gutted that I left it too late to say something, that I even frigging unintentionally helped you find jen! Seriously... What are the chances right?" Sophie sighed. "I don't know how it's gonna work out long term , I mean maybe, we should think about finding new places to live." Sophie paused before adding "after I blew Brad out I doubt he'll be wanting share with me again"  
"No. No I guess he won't," Tilly agreed  
Sophie continued the act "To be honest, i'd been thinking about moving to west London anyway, maybe Chelsea way. I quiet fancy a place by the river. I'm sure my folks can help with the deposit."  
"Yes. Yes I'm sure they can." Tilly responded. Tilly felt sad listening to Sophie talk about the end of their time as flatmates, but she also knew it was the sensible thing to do. It would be too difficult otherwise. Difficult for both of them.

"Oh... And don't worry. I won't say anything to Jen or anyone else about what happened tonight. About the kiss"  
Tilly felt sick as she realised the damage Sophie could do to her and Jen. Tilly took a deep sigh of relief "Sophie... I am sorry.. I wish..."  
Sophie interrupted her " yeah, yeah Tils. I know. You don't mean to hurt me. You care about me, but you love Jen. I get it. I don't need to hear it again." Sophie smiled weakly at her friend before adding "don't get me wrong, I mean it would be SO easy to walk up those stairs, walk into your bedroom where Jen is sleeping right now, and tell her that her girlfriend has just kissed me!" Sophie paused as she saw the worry spread over Tilly's face. "But I guess I must really care about you Evans, as I know that if I did that, well you would probably hate me, and ..."  
Sophie took a deep breath "... and as much I'm hurting now, as much as all i want to do right now is run away and lick my wounds, I don't want to totally lose you from my life."  
Tilly watched the tears start to form again in Sophie's eyes.

"I'll miss you." tilly added suddenly.  
Sophie looked back at Tilly and smiled "not as much as I'll miss you!" As they stood there together under the stars, Tilly wondered if it was possible to love two people at the same time?


	29. Chapter 29

It was 6.30 am and Jen was standing in the kitchen with her back to the door on the phone to a local taxi firm. She was concentrating on her French making sure she had given them the right directions, so she didn't notice that someone had entered the room and was listening to her phone call, until she heard someone clear their throat.

Turning round she saw Ann- Sophie standing there with a puzzled looked on her face. Great. Jen was hoping to escape with seeing anyone. Jen finished the call and put her phone down on the table.  
"'Bonjour Jen. Je ne savais pas que vous parlez si bien le français!'" Jen smiled as she could see Ann-Sophie panic at the realisation Jen spoke French. "oui j'ai vécu et étudié à Paris pendant un an." Jen explained about studying for a year in Paris before adding in English "so I know all about Sophie and how she feels about Tilly" Tears sprung to Jens eyes as she remember what she saw last night. How she had watched as Tilly had kissed Sophie. Jen looked away not wishing for Ann-Sophie to see her upset.

After the kiss Jen had decided she had to leave. Had to get away, but knew there was no where for her to go that night, so she quickly packed her things so she could make a quick and quiet getaway first thing in the morning whilst Tilly slept. After shoving her things in her bag she has climbed back into bed, facing the wall so as not to have to look at Tilly. It wasn't long after that she had heard the door open and Tilly gently climb into bed next to her. Jen could smell the booze on her breath and tried hard to remain calm as she heard Tilly whisper "I love you" in her direction. Jen's heart was breaking. How could Tilly love her after what she had just done? How could she possibly care about Jen?

"Jen I... " Ann-Sophie started to put together her defence case, but Jen wasn't interested.  
"It's OK Ann. I know you are Sophies friend so you don't have to justify your or her actions. I... I just don't wanna stick around a minute longer and have to watch it rubbed in my face" Jen spat the words out.  
"I have a cab coming in 10 mins. i couldn't change my flight, but I've managed to find somewhere to stay near the airport for tonight, so I'll be gone soon"

Ann looked down at her hands guiltily for a few seconds before looking up at Jen "for what it's worth Jen... I really don't think anything will happen between Sophie and Tilly. I have seen the way she looks at you. She is totally in love with you, everyone can see that. Even Sophie and that's why she is being mean to you. You have what she wants"

Jen interrupted "well after what I saw last night, she has got what she wanted!" Tears springing to her eyes again.  
Ann looked back at Jen confused. "I... I don't know what you mean."  
"I mean Sophie's won! She got Tilly. They kissed last night and I saw it all with my own eyes" Jen swallowed hard "I saw Tilly walk up and kiss Sophie and it killed me" Jen looked away trying to compose herself again "I don't want to be made a fool of anymore". Jen looked at her watch and decided that she didn't want to talk about it anymore.  
"Look, I'm gonna go and wait for the cab outside. It... Umm well.. It was nice meeting you." Jen struggled to finish her sentence and the words stuck in her throat.

Ann was still in shock at the news that Tilly and Sophie had kissed... And that Jen had seen it. She was so surprised. On the way back from the restaurant she had tried to warn Sophie off saying that she thought Tilly and Jen were too solid, too much in love and that it was too late. She guessed she was wrong. Wow. Poor Jen.

Ann-Sophie felt bad and wanted to try and help. "Please let me drive you to the airport and your hotel. It's the least I can do. Give me your phone and I'll cancel the taxi". Jen shook her head "no.. No it's OK. I can get a taxi"

"no I insist." Ann-Sophie held her hand out for the phone and Jen realising she was more upset then she thought and didn't want to be sat in a cab crying in front of the driver, eventually handed over her phone. Jen watched as Ann quickly pressed redial, and cancelled the taxi. She then picked up Jens case and motioned to the door. "Ready to go?"

Jen nodded and placed an envelop with Tilly's name on the front on the kitchen table and then walked out the room and away from Tilly.

Tilly woke up around 8am and let out a small groan as her head pounded. She slowly opened her eyes to look across at Jen, but found herself alone in the bed. she had a flash back to the events of the night before and felt awful. She needed to talk to Jen ASAP. Needed to discuss with her what had happened with a Sophie. How she had out of the blue declared her love for Tilly, how she had foolishly whilst under the effects of too much vino, been flattered and confused by Sophies words, and how.. How she had kissed Sophie. God even saying the words to herself made Tilly feel sick. How on earth was she going to be ale to tell Jen, but she had to come clean. She had to be honest and hope for the best. Hope that Jen would be able forgive her for her mistake, for that was what it was. It was a massive mistake. Tilly realised that. Realised that whatever she felt for Sophie, it was nothing compared to her feelings for Jen.

Tilly slowly climbed out of bed and wondered into the bathroom to have a shower, hoping to find Jen in there, but she wasn't there. As Tilly stood looking at herself in the mirror, she realised with a sense of horror, that not only was Jen not in the bathroom, neither were her things. Her make up, her toothbrush her perfume. All of it was gone!

Tilly rushed back to the bedroom and check the room, yeap, sure enough all of Jens things were gone. Tilly was really starting to worry now. What WAS going on? Jen wasn't supposed to leave until tomorrow. pulling on her jeans and a vest top, Tilly quickly ran down the stairs hoping to find Jen eating breakfast or something, but when she got to the kitchen all she found letter with her name on the front in Jens distinctive handwriting. Oh god! Tilly thought as she picked up the letter, tears springing to her eyes. She knows!


	30. Chapter 30

**Quick update tonight so that Joey-always can get some sleep;)**

**Thanks for the reviews and feedback and for sticking with the story. let me know what you think to Jens letter. What would you have said to Tilly in Jens situation? **

Tilly's hand were shaking as she picked up the envelop and held it in front of her.

Tears were forming in her eyes and just as she was about to slip her finger under the fold and open the envelop she heard the sound of someone approaching the kitchen. Tilly quickly shoved the envelop in her back pocket and wiped away the tear that was rolling down her cheek.

Just as she did Sophie walked into the kitchen, looking as bad as Tilly felt.  
Sophie stopped when she saw Tilly standing there and the two friends exchanged embarrassed looks.  
"Hey" Tilly croaked. Realising her throat was tight with emotion.  
"Hey Tills" Sophie smiled back. "Listen...about last night"  
Tilly shook her head and Sophie stopped talking.  
"I'm sorry, but I... I can't talk about that right now." The tears spring back into her eyes.  
Tllly saw that her words had hurt Her friend, but right there and then she didn't care. All she was worried about was Jen, and what was in the letter.

Tilly quickly ran past Sophie and out of the house. Not stopping as Sophie called after her. She just needed to get away. Be alone. After running away from the house for five minutes or so she stopped and found a bench on the side of the road to sit down. Reaching into her back pocket, Tilly's face dropped as she realised the letter wasn't there. It must have fallen out of her pocket as she was running. FUCK! Tilly screamed out loud as she tried to work out the best plan. Reaching for her phone she pressed Jens number. It came as no surprise when the call went straight to voicemail. Tilly hadn't thought through what she was going to say, so quickly hung up without saying a word.

Tilly started walking back towards the house in the hope of finding the letter somewhere along the way. As she walked along the road she pictured her friend Sophie in the kitchen earlier and wondered what she had wanted to say before Tilly had stopped her. The last thing Tilly needed at that moment was to have to relive last night all over again. Relive the moment their friendship changed. The moment Tilly foolish kissed Sophie.

Just then Tilly's phone buzzed with a text message. Reaching into her jean pocket Tilly hoped with all her might that it was Jen, but it wasn't. It was Sophie 'Tils come back and talk to me. I'm still your friend. Oh and you dropped a letter by the front door.'

Tilly's heart started beating faster at the last sentence and she sprinted into a run as she covered the distance between her and the house, between her and Jens letter.

When Tilly got back to the house Sophie was pouring some iced water into a glass and handed it to Tilly, who smiled graciously and gulped down the glass.

"Tils... What the fuck is going on?" Sophie asked confused.

"It's... It's Jen." Tilly replied looking her friend directly in the eyes showing just how scared she was. "She's gone"

"Gone?" Sophie repeated confused "what do you mean gone?"

"I mean as in I woke up this morning and all her things are gone and I don't know where she is" Tilly held out her hand towards her friend before adding "the letter I dropped was waiting for me on the kitchen table this morning. I need to read it."

Sophie passed the envelop to her friend and wrapped her hand around Tilly's before she let go. "Tilly I meant what I said last night... All of it... Including the bit about not saying anything to Jen about what happened. Ou believe me right?" Sophie waited for a response.

Tilly nodded slowly "I believe you Soph. Jen, well she was acting a bit weird before we went out, I think she maybe guessed somehow about, you know..." Tilly felt embarrassed saying the words "..about me being in love with you?" Sophie finished the sentence for her friend.

"Yeah. Yeah about that." Tilly looked away. "She never said anything in particular, but thinking back... she knew before I did!" Tilly looked at the envelop in her hand and turned to walk towards the door. "I'm gonna go up to my room for a bit OK? I just need to be alone"

Sophie watched as her friend walked out the door adding "ok, but call if you need me". Tilly didn't answer.

Once alone in her room she sat down on the bed and ripped out the envelop and pulled out the folded piece of paper. Her heart was racing as she started reading the words

_Tilly,_

_By the time you read this letter I'll be on my way home._

_I should never have come. It was a stupid idea and yet... Well maybe it was meant to be this way. Maybe we were never meant to get back together again._

_I know Sophie loves you and I guess, after the kiss, after you walked up to her and kissed her, that you love her back. I get it. I hate it, and the thought makes me feel sick, but I get what Sophie and you have is more than what we have... HAD._

_I just wish you two had worked that out earlier so that I wasn't caught up in the middle of your love triangle. Wouldn't have got so hurt._

_I love you SO much Tilly Evans, but I wish I had never met you again. i wish you had never sent me that message. I wish i hadn't chased after you that day in the rain, I wish I had listened to my head and not my heart... that way I wouldn't have seen that kiss. that way I wouldn't have spent the past few weeks falling in love with you all over again._

_You know what? I was almost fucking there. I.. I was moving on... getting to the point where I seriously thought I could be happy with someone else. The point where I almost stopped thinking about you... and now I'm back to square one._

_Please don't contact me when you get back from your holiday. I'll ask James to pop to your flat in a couple of weeks to pick up the stuff I left._

_Jen_


	31. Chapter 31

**Thanks for the reviews. Glad you are liking the story. **

Ann-Sophie pulled up outside the hotel Jen had booked for the night and turned the car engine off.

"Thanks" Jen said weakly. They had spent most of the car journey in silence. Ann occasionally speaking to point things out as they drove the 20 minute journey.

Ann-Sophie turned to look at Jen. "Look Jen. I don't know you or Tilly, and so I'm probably speaking out of turn, but are you sure this is what you want?"  
Jen looked up, confused by the question. Was this woman taking the piss?

Jen resisted the urge to turn round and respond sarcastically "yeah I'm great thanks. I've had an amazing couple of days away, being insulted, listening to Sophie discuss her plan to get tilly, Oh and to top it off seeing my girlfriend, who I generally thought loved me, kiss someone else!  
Jen took a deep breath before responding "of course this isn't what I WANT... But what choice do I have?"

"Talk to her?" Ann-Sophie responded positively.

"Why? So she can break my heart in person" Jen let out a sarcastic laugh "no thanks!"

"Look Ann-Sophie I really appreciate the lift, but as you said earlier... You don't know me or Tilly." Jen paused " but after last night...I'm not too sure I know her either!"  
Jen looked away out of the window as she composed herself again. Taking a deep breath she slowly turned back to Ann-Sophie.

"I'll be ok." She smiled weakly "it just wasn't meant to be!" And with that she placed a kiss on Ann's cheek and opened the car door.  
Before she closed it shut Jen spoke one final time "will you pass Sophie a message from me?"  
"Sure" Ann-Sophie replied figuring it was the least she could do.  
"Tell her... vous avez gagné... You won!" Jen shut the door and walked towards the hotel. She wanted more than anything to be home right now. Instead she had to wait 24 hrs til her flight home.

Tilly was lying face down on the bed when she heard a knocking at the bedroom door.  
"Tils babe. Are you OK?" Sophie didn't wait for an answer as she heard the sobs from behind the door.  
As Sophie walked into the room to find her friend totally distraught. Seeing Tilly like this made Sophie feel a wave of sadness. Sadness that her friend was so upset, but also at the fact that SHE wasn't the cause of the sadness.

Sophie walked over to the bed and pulled Tilly into her arms "shhhhh"  
She whispered as she rocked Tilly in her arms and waited for the tears to ease. Sophie stroked Tilly's hair and promised her it would be OK.  
After a few minutes Tilly finally moved her head from Sophie's shoulder and wipped her tear stained cheeks and eyes with her top.

"Oh Soph. It's all over." Sophie watched as the pain was visable all over her friends face. "She hates me. Jen hates me"  
"What did the letter say Tils?"  
"Oh that she wishes she never came here, wishes she never met me again. How she was nearly over me, but that now I've... We've... broken her heart again."  
"Tilly I.."  
"What Sophie?" Tilly answered angrily "You're sorry?"  
Sophie could tell the anger in Tilly's comment.  
"Woaaah there Tils... Hang on a sec. I know you blame me for all of this, but well ... You knoW what... I didn't plan this... I mean... I didn't plan on falling for someone who was already taken. Didn't plan on falling for my best friend who also happens to be a girl!" Sophie looked Tilly in the face "this has not been fun for me you know!"

Sophie's response made Tilly feel bad. She knew this must be hard for Sophie too and after all Tilly had walked up to Sophie and kissed her.  
Right now if was difficult to Di d anyone who was happy from the current situation.  
"I'm sorry Soph." Tilly whispered. "It's just such a fucking mess."  
Sophie squeezed her friends hand in agreement and support. "I know Tils. But you're not giving up are you?"  
Tilly thought about the question. Her head was telling her that maybe it just wasn't meant to be. They had tried twice... And it had ended badly.. Twice! Her heart was telling her that she of course had to try, had to tell Jen how she had messed up, how she cared about Sophie as a friend, but that It was just as a friend, nothing more. No one meant as much to her as she did. The image of Jen came into Yillys mind, and the thought of not seeing her beautifully face again was too much to bare.

Tilly cleared her throat... "No, i'm not giving up... I have to give it one more go!"

Back in her hotel room Jen was taking a long hot shower. The water mingling with her tears. Afterwards she came out and sat on the bed and reached for her phone. God she was already missing Tilly so much. She knew what she had to do. Jen sat there and went through every text message from Tilly and deleted them. The messages from her telling her how much she loved Jen, the messages telling her how turned on she was thinking of Jen, the messages telling her what she was going to do to Jen when they were in bed next. After deleting the photos of the two of them she then finally deleted Tillys number.

Jen thought back over the past month for so and wondered how it was possible to go from being so happy, to feeling so sad and lonely so quickly. Jen had stopped going to see her counsellor shortly after she had got together with Tilly again and Jen closed her eyes at the thought of having to go back and sit down and start all over again, rebuilding her life. Rebuilding her as a person. A person without the person they loved. HAD loved Jen corrected herself. She couldn't afford to think that way anymore. It wasn't good for her.

Tilly had chosen someone else. Tilly didn't, after all, after all those words of love, decided she liked Sophie more than Jen. The facts stung Jen, but they were what they were, and as much as she was hurting now, Jen knew she would get through it again. Would eventually be ready to move on again. Jen thought of Kate. Jen wondered if that offer to wait had expired?


	32. Chapter 32

Neither of them slept much that night. Jen spent most of the night reliving the moments with Tilly since they had got back together. Tilly on the other was awake in bed working on her plan to get Jen back. She knew it wouldn't be easy, but she had to at least try. Much against Sophie's inner desires, Tilly had told her friend that she was heading back to London early. That she was sorry to leave her, but that she had to go and see Jen. Sophie had nodded that she had understood and promised to drive Tilly to the airport so she could get the first flight out at 7am.

It had killed Jen to delete all those messages and photos, but she had no choice. She HAD to do it to move on. She tried hard to not think of Tilly and Sophie together in the villa, together in bed. Sophie with her super flat stomach, blonde hair and tanned skin. Her brown legs intertwined with Tilly's porcelain white legs. Urgh. The thought made her sick. It had after all only been a day since Tilly's legs had been wrapped around her own legs in the shower.

Jen had hesitated when she got to Kate's number on her phone. The image of the kiss flashed in front of Jen again and she felt the anger rise within her. Without a seconds more thought Jen started writing a text message.

_Hey Kate. Long story, but I wondered what the used by date was of your offer? Has it already expired? J x  
_  
Jen didn't have to wait long before she received an answer. _Well hello you. ummm let me just check the date. WOW ... you are in luck... It was due to expire today! X_

Jen smiled and quickly tapped a response _Do you think it might keep a bit longer? maybe if it was put in the freezer or something? X_

_Hmm not sure. How long were you thinking? A girl has to eat after all! I might be tempted by something else, something instant rather than having to wait for it to defrost! X_

Jen realised she was asking a lot of Kate, especially as she had already rejected her once for Tilly. Now here she was effectively asking her to wait whilst Jen licked her wounds and got over what Tilly had done. Jen had to decide. She knew she couldn't ask Kate to wait forever, Jen had to either move quickly and give it another go with Kate now, or accept that it wasn't going to happen. Jen took charge of her feelings and told herself that she wasn't going to mope about after Tilly for another two years again. Life was too short.

_I understand, but you know what they say about fast food, it never really fills you up! OK if I check with you next weekend to see how hungry you are? J x__Sure x _Jen closed her phone and tried to sleep.

Sophie dropped Tilly off at the airport and the two friends hugged for the longest time. "Good luck Tils" Sophie said trying her hardest to mean it "whatever happens though, you know I'll be there... As your friend".

Tilly pulled Sophie in for another hug as she knew how much that must have took for Sophie to say that. And it meant the world to know that she still had her friend. "Thanks Soph. I really appreciate that."

Sophie watched Tilly as she walked away from her and into the airport and out of sight. Slowly she walked round to the drivers side, climbed into the car and drove away. On the drive back Sophie hoped for selfish purposes, that it didn't work out and thsomeone thing might actually still happen between her and Tilly.

Tilly stood in the queue to check in on the flight. What was taking so Lin? She just wanted to get on the flight and back to london. Get back able see Jen and convince her how much she loved her.

Jen checked the departures board to find her checking desk. As she walked towadesk the desk Jen stopped dead in her tracks as she spotted the distinctive red hair of Tilly in the queue in front of her. Shit! Jen's heart started racing at the sight of Tilly. What was she doing here? Was Sophie with her? Shit! Shit! Shit! Jen was panicking seeing Tilly, Jen was not prepared for this and as she saw Tilly turn around after checking her bag in, Jen hid behind a pillar so as not to be seen. This was a disaster. Jen watched as Tilly walked away towards the security gate, as she tried to think logically. There was clearly no way they avoid each other. Jen was going to have to speak to her.

Tilly was sitting down waiting for the departure gate to be announced, phone in her hand composing a text message to Jen.

_Jen. I know I messed up. I messed up big time. I need to see you to let you know just how much you mean to me. I know I've hurt you, I just hope you'll give me the chance to make it up to you_.

Tilly pressed send and hoped for the best. Shortly afterwards Tilly was aware of someone taking the seat next to her. Tilly shuffled over slightly and then nearly fell off her chair when she turned to see who it was and saw Jen sitting next to her.

Jen looked Tilly in the eyes and calmly said "you broke my heart Tilly." Jens eyes were full of tears as she added "you broke my heart and i'm not sure there is anything you can say to change that." Jen stood up and walked away. Tilly was left reeling by the encounter.


	33. Chapter 33

**So I'm thinking that this could be the last chapter for this story as it has a neat finish in my mind. Let me know if you don't feel the same and want one more chapter or so? **

**Thanks for reading.**

It had been 24 hrs since Tilly had watched Jen walk away from her at the airport, and now Tilly laid in her bed reflecting on all that had happened.

The flight home had been torture as Jen was sitting just four rows ahead of Tilly, meaning she had to look at the back of Jens head all the way home. So near, yet so far.

Tilly had seen the hurt in Jens face, and heard the hatred in her voice and words when she had walked away. It was of course nothing more than she deserved. She had after all kissed another girl, and to make matters worse, it had happened ...albeit without realising...in front of Jen! Jeez, what a mess Tilly had thought to herself as she sat through the 3 hr flight home.

As the plane landed and people started getting up and opening the overhead compartments, Tilly watched as Jen stood up and reached for her bag. As she did so, a good looking guy standing beside her offered to help. Tilly watched as she saw Jen flash an appreciated smile, she watched as she saw the mans obvious attraction and attempt to flirt with Jen, who was playfully joining in. God it killed Tilly to watch the exchange, to see what she had lost. Tilly knew Jen wasn't interested in the guy, but she could see that Jen appreciated the attention and how it made her smile again. Oh THAT smile!

As Tilly waited in line to shuffle off the plane she realised that unlike Jen she had to wait for her bag to be offloaded. Jen had packed her things for the weekend into a rucksack and so would be able to head straight onto the tube, and straight home. Tilly had been hoping to be able to speak to Jen, to apologise, to have the chance to show Jen how sorry she was and how she wanted to ask for a second chance.

Tilly figured she had nothing to loose and so despite Jens words earlier Tilly composed a quick message as she waited to exit.

_I'm not giving up on this Jen. please wait in baggage reclaim so we can talk. PLEASE x_

Tilly grew frustrated as people in front of her seemed to be taking forever to get their things together and Tilly watched Jen speed ahead down the aisle and then as she turned and looked back over her shoulder towards Tilly. Their eyes locked and Tillys heart began racing - please read my message shemsaid to herself in hope. Please wait for me.  
Tilly tapped another quick message as Jen went out of sight.

_Please give me the chance to explain. I love you Jen Gilmore more than anything, always have done. Always will!_

Eventually Tilly was off the plane and started running the long journey from where the plane had stopped to the main part of the airport. She hoped to catch up with Jen, before she left. Tilly rushed past the good looking guy from the plane, but couldn't see Jen anywhere. As she got to the bagging reclaim area it was so busy with passengers arriving from all over waiting for their belongs. Their suitcases of dirty washing, of summer dresses and bikinis to be washed and packed away for another year. Tilly looked up at the display board to see which carousel her bag would hopefully be appearing on. Tears were forming in her eyes, which made it hard to read the board. Keep it together Tils she ordered herself.

Tilly did another hopeful scan of the airport. All around her were people of different ages, nationalities, sizes, skin colours. Business men and women in their suits and ties, families returning from holidays abroad all tanned and relaxed. All Tilly wanted to see was Jen Gilmore, but as the luggage board flashed the number 5, the realisation that Jen wasn't here hit home. Tilly knew she was about to burst into tears and so made a dash to the toilets, quickly locking the door behind her as the tears started flowing. Closing the seat of the toilet and flopping down on it, Tilly held her head in her hands and sobbed as quietly as she could. Tilly sat there crying as the reality if the situation hit home. There was no way Tilly could pretend things would be OK. No way she could make excuses for Jen not replying to her text messages because she had lost her phone or something like that. Tilly had seen Jen walk away from her and despite promising not to give up, right there and then she was struggling to find a positive outcome from the situation.

Conscious that her bag was probably still sitting on the carousel, Tilly finally unlocked the door and headed to the sinks. Looking in the mirror at the reflection of her puffy face and red eyes, she splashed some water onto her face to try and look a bit less like a fool, but it didn't really work.

Leaving the toilets Tilly slowly walked towards her bag which was now one of only four bags on the carousel. Reaching for her bag she wheeled her way through customs and the nothing to declare section and out into arrivals.

Tilly walked quickly through the automatic sliding doors, head down embarrassed by her red face. As she looked up briefly she stopped in her tracks at the sight of Jen standing there, amongst the crowd of Taxi drivers with signs with the names of people they were there to collect. Tilly double blinked making sure she wasn't seeing things, and Jen smiled slightly at Tilly gesturing to the sign in her hands. Written on the a piece of paper were the words SECOND CHANCE EVANS!

The sound of the bedroom door opening distracted Tilly from her thoughts as she looked up as Jen walked into the room. :)

THE END? Let me know what you think?


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